Owen came home and he’s put on weight…

Asking the Dr’s if Owen could come home
Coming Home

On Sunday the 7th of January, a very hot day in Penrith, the Dr’s approved us to bring Owen home, yayyyyy

They loved the written note on Owen’s crib asking if he could, thanks to one of the fabulous NICU nurses for writing it xox

We were so happy to take him home but he’s still so tiny and hardly fits in his capsule, we’ve got the straps on the smallest setting!  Of course nervous as well.

It was nice not to be going to the hospital several times a day but then came the 3 hourly feeds 🙂 all worth it though xox

 

We had to go back a few times every couple of days to get him weighed and checked and each time he put on weight, though the first weigh in only a little but he’s now 2.10kg or probably more as that was at the last weigh in.

Our two boys xox

Liam is great with him, really gentle most of the time and gives him kisses, too cute!  Though he gets boisterous and not so gentle with Owen or with us.. but he’s very good and at night when we put him to bed he blows Owen a kiss goodnight in his bassinet… he melts my heart xox

We’ve not done much with him home, I’m still sore and exhausted and my blood pressure is still playing up a bit, more to do with now not being pregnant and getting the medications right and in line with my bp coming down and righting itself.. some huge headaches with this ride but hopefully the high bp was pregnancy related and will right itself soon.

 

Owen and Great Nan

Owen is growing and we did introduce him to Shane’s Nan the other day, she’s 98 and doing well considering and she got to cuddle him lots.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The great team that helped us to get our two boys xox

(photo of Dr Matabese from Cape Fertility to come :))

Owen and Dr Merchant (our local GP, he’s amazing)
Dr Pardey and me xox
Sarah and me (Sarah was our reg Ob for Liam and delivered him for us and now works for Dr Pardey, she’s gorgeous xox)
and here’s the gorgeous Maree, she was our reg Ob with Liam’s pregnancy for the most part and she with Dr Pardey delivered Owen, and is also amazing xox
Cheryl at Balance Medical, did all my blood tests and has been along for the ride xox
The lovely Simone and Cheryl at Balance xox
Its a hard life at 4 weeks xox
4 weeks old
Happy Family going home

 

Well I think that’s our family complete for us, though we might consider adoption in a few years or maybe fostering… I don’t think i can put any of us or our team through another pregnancy, though I did give Dr Pardey, Maree and Sarah a scare by saying I wanted to be a surrogate, and yes I’d love to do this but again I can’t put my family through another complicated pregnancy.  Whilst another pregnancy might be much easier like it was with Liam there’s no guarantee so that’s it for us xox

We are considering on-donating our embryo’s in Cape Town at some point, we just need to get through the next year or so and we’ll start this process xox

So as soon as I finish breast feeding Owen, I’ll be back to see the lovely Prof Kefford to do a check up and probably start Tamoxifen for a few years to keep that big  C away…

Gosh I can’t believe we’ve done it, phew and yayyyyy it’s a bit surreal still and after so many years and so much heartache it does seem like a dream.

Now to focus on our boys and helping others achieve this…. thanks again for everyone’s support and help along the way and we hope we can continue to help others to achieve their dream.

Lots of love Dianne, Shane, Liam and Owen xoxox

Happy New Year, welcome 2018 and blissful happiness xox

Gosh, what an crazy and amazing year 2017 was… we can’t believe that we’ve welcomed in the New Year with our precious boy Owen.

To go to sleep last night and wake up in a New Year without it being tinged with sadness as our dreams have come true is surreal.   Most years we’ve welcomed the year in with hope and sadness except for the year that we had Liam and this year with Owen.

There’s always some sadness with loved ones not here, for me my Mum and Scout xox  I wish my Mum could see our little family but I know wherever she is, she’ll be so happy for us.  I know most of you grieve for someone at Christmas and New Year, huge hugs and love to you.. it’s a time for spending time with loved ones and when some are missing it’s hard xox

We have so much to be grateful for but as you all know we’ve spent many years wanting a family and then a sibling for Liam.  We’ve had a lot of speed humps in our life together, Shane trying to find his daughter, my lying, cheating ex husband including three years of property settlement with a huge emotional and financial toll all because he continued to lie about our financial situation and his stupid solicitor failed to read the facts I kept sending them and so much more, infertility diagnosis/early menopause and years of IVF, breast cancer diagnosis with massive treatment and huge complications, our search for our egg donor angels, miscarriages, the loss of our 11 embryo’s, Mum’s breast and lung cancer and dementia and sadly her decline and passing… and much much more…

We feel complete and whilst I’d love to have another baby and to be a surrogate for someone else, we just can’t put my body through another pregnancy and I can’t put my three boys through it.. and I need to be here for them too xox

We are blessed and grateful for what we have xox

We couldn’t have done this without our friends and family and their love and support, especially through the tough times, you’ve been amazing and we love and thank you xoxox

Sorry that we’ve not been in touch as much and spent as much time recently but we’ll make up for it this year xox

When I started Egg Donor Angels in 2008 I had a dream to help others along this journey as we’d just started it and I’d realised were few resources available but were so needed.  Many years later Egg Donor Angels has grown so much with many Facebook support groups with people from all over the world and hundreds of babies born from local and overseas donations.  My payment and joy is knowing that I’ve provided a support network for those on the journey and when I get an email, message, text message, phone call saying that they have achieved their dream, it’s all worth it xox

All the people in my groups also make them the amazing space that they are, they provide wonderful support and friendship to others along the journey and to my fabulous admins Katherine, Natalie, Lauren and Christine, thank you, I love you and couldn’t have gotten through this pregnancy without your love, help and support xox

I wish I could wave that magic wand and help everyone to achieve their dream xox

We hope that 2018 will be the year for many of you and your family in achieving your dreams and if there’s anything we can do to help, please let us know.

An update on Owen;, our little tiger has moved to bay 4, the last bay before being able to go home, yayyy.  He’s gaining weight and feeding well.  He just needs to take a bottle and/or breast feed at every feed and consistently gain weight to go home.  We’re now doing 3 trips a day to the Penrith/Nepean NICU, 7am, 1pm and 7pm so we’re a bit off the grid till he comes home, hopefully soon 🙂 xox

So Happy New Year to all our family and friends, may 2018 be a wonderful year for you and your loved ones, lots of love Dianne, Shane, Liam and Owen xoxox

Our Christmas Present arrived :) xox Merry Christmas everyone xox

Here I am, my first cuddles

Wow, what a week it’s been, my last post on Monday the 18th where it was a day by day wait to see what would happen.

On the Tuesday they were doing the ECG on the baby and they were concerned that he wasn’t moving enough and with my high blood pressure and pre-eclampsia, so they decided to move me to the public hospital that afternoon in preparation for delivering him sooner than later.

They found me a bed in the antenatal ward and we were told they were considering delivering him that night or the next day as they were worried about him and the lack of movement.  They then decided to let him “cook” for a few more days so I sent Shane home and I started to settle in to my new bed whilst they monitored bubs again…. but as they did his heart rate dropped significantly twice for short periods and then for a long period which resulted in me ringing Shane and telling him he had an hour to get back to the hospital as we were doing an emergency C section, tonight our little boy was going to be delivered…

Within an hour I was prepped and we were ready to go.. the team were amazing getting me ready and making it all happen and I gave Dr Pardey a scare mentioning that I had been considering being a surrogate…  he said he and my hypertension specialist Dr Fischer would have a heart attack if I did… I had very seriously considered this before this pregnancy but with the complications we’ve had I couldn’t put myself, my family and the recipients through the stress and the risk of any issues so sadly this isn’t an option for me to help now 🙁

The team at Nepean are amazing and as I’ve mentioned before obstetricians; Dr Maree Wallwark and Dr Sarah Rixton were fabulous with our pregnancy with Liam as was our awesome Midwife Tracey xox  Whilst they were prepping me Dr Pardey rang Maree to tell her they were doing our emergency C section (Sarah was away so unable to attend this one but she delivered Liam xox) and as they were doing my injection into my back Maree appeared in front of me to be part of this bubs delivery… I cried and hugged her quickly before the injection took hold..  🙂 and cry now that she made it to this bubs arrival xox

It all just happened so quickly then, next thing we know he’s out, a quick look for us and then he was whisked off to be checked and then Daddy and bubs went off to NICU whilst I spent hours in recovery trying to get my blood pressure under control.

So on Tuesday 19th December at 9.33pm our little boy arrived, a wee bit early but healthy and safe xox

In the NICU you can visit the baby anytime you want but you can only hold and cuddle the baby at what they call their care times, which are every 6 hours.  Our times were 10am, 4pm, 10pm and 4am, so whilst I was still in hospital I did all 4 times to spend as much time with him as I could.  He started in the humidicrib and on Saturday was moved to a cot and has moved a bay along, so he’s doing well and he’s gaining weight.  We’re not sure when he’ll be home, the criteria for a baby to go home is to be consistently gaining weight and to be able to feed.

I was discharged on Friday from the hospital and whilst so happy to be going home and to be at home with Shane and Liam it was very sad for all three of us to drive out of the hospital without bubs and to leave him behind. But he’s in good hands and we’re visiting him every day doing the 10am and the 4pm visits.  We’d do more but I can’t drive so it’s a lot on Shane to drive to Penrith and back twice a day with only a few hours break between and we have to consider Liam xox

I’m sorry I haven’t posted a full update yet, our focus has been on bubs, Liam and my slow and painful recovery but when I woke up in pain the wee hours this morning I wanted to get up and update you all and to wish you all a very Merry Christmas xox

We want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas xox, cherish and enjoy the day with family and friends.  The day is about these moments in life and I know for many the day is tinged with sadness; loved ones no longer with us, dreams not yet fulfilled and losses xox

Thanks to everyone for your support this year xox, it’s been a crazy 12 plus months for us and our focus lately has been on bubs health and my health.  We’re sorry we haven’t seen many friends and family during this time and have been out of touch a bit but we are here for you and we look forward to making up for it in 2018 xox

May 2018 be everything you dream of and whilst many of us miss loved ones, we can cherish the memories and hope that new memories can help with the grief and loss xox  And if there’s anything we can do to help you achieve your dreams, let us know.

Love from Dianne, Shane, Liam and Owen xox

My first bath

Awake in my humidicrib
I’ve moved into a cot

Transfer done, now the 2ww xox

It’s our last full day in Cape Town and whilst we are looking forward to going home there is a tinge of sadness to leave this beautiful city and the friends we have made along our journey xox

Our egg donor gave us some wonderful eggs and we ended up with 2 fabulous quality embryo’s to transfer and 6 in the freezer 🙂

Transfer was Monday and all went wonderfully and we are now in the 2ww nervously…  each step is so very hard, its the decision to use an egg donor or for us to do another cycle after our last miscarriage and negative, it’s the process of seeing if your egg donor is suitable then the cycle begins and are they responding and well and will you get good quality embryo’s that give you the best possible chance xox

Its the egg collection and how many fertilise, then how are they going at each stage and how many embryo’s you have and what quality they are…

Then of course once you’ve done the transfer it’s the waiting, listening to your body and each twinge and symptom brings about “could we be pregnant?”…  the hormones play with your body and your mind as does the emotions of the whole journey…  your hopeful and you want this so badly but you also know there’s always that risk/chance its not going to be successful….it’s a numbers game… you do everything you can to ensure the best possible outcome, acupuncture, Chinese herbs, endo scratch, hysteroscopy, vitamins, supplements and so the list goes on..

I know many of you reading this will relate either doing your own IVF with your own eggs and doing IVF using an egg donor…  it’s a roller coaster of emotions and whilst you try to “not stress” and “not think about it too much” and “relax” you know your mind is there in that place xox

I will do a future post about Cape Town, what to see and do as it is a beautiful city and the people are lovely xox

We have done some further sightseeing, we did Kirstenbosch gardens, Moyo restaurant for Mother’s Day, Simons Town, Bree Street and the famous Mount Nelson Hotel High Tea.  Every day we have done a lovely walk along the bay and have had a great time with Liam playing in the playgrounds.  We found a great children’s playground along the waterfront that’s fenced and gated with a track for him to ride his tricycle around and a swing, slide and climbing stuff.. he’s loved playing and riding his trike and it’s been wonderful having this family time…  Liam’s made many friends, he just loves to people watch and he’s so friendly smiling and chatting to the locals…

We got to catch up with some friends we’ve made here previously and that was lovely, though not enough time and we hope that when we bring Liam back when he’s older we will have more time to spend with them.

I’m nervous to write anymore about our chances of success or if I think we are successful, I plan to do a home pregnancy test probably around day 8 or 9 just before bloods and even just writing that makes my heart skip a beat…

To those that are thinking of going overseas, don’t be afraid of doing this, so many are going and are successful, it’s not as scary as you think, most clinics are as good as Australia/the USA, are reasonably priced and the success rates are very good…  and I’m happy to chat to you about it …

I’ve been wearing my Mum’s heart locket here with a photo of her and Dad in it so she’s with us and my lucky elephant from a good friend… and of course all the hope and good wishes from our friends xoxox

Fingers and toes crossed we are pregnant with a sibling for Liam… chat soon, love from us xoxox

We’ve arrived in Cape Town for our new cycle xox

We arrived on Saturday night exhausted and spent Sunday just relaxing and settling in again…  After a crazy week at home in the lead up to coming here.. typical of us to have so much going on at any given time hehehe but that’s just who we are xox

Yesterday I had my lining scan and it’s looking great.. our donor also had her scans and everything is looking good, phew!

It was lovely to see Dr Matabese and Danelle at Cape Fertility again, such gorgeous people and they make this journey much easier and nicer xox

We met a couple of lovely recipients in the waiting room, a Mum and Daughter that were actually on our flight on the way over.. she made me cry when she said “I just want to be a Mummy” xox  I remember her Mum as she kept smiling and chatting to Liam as he crawled up and down the aisle on the plane… such a small world when you see people that were on  your flight at your clinic and find out that they are on the same journey.. I hope she gets her dream and hopefully she will join my groups as I think she’ll be a great support on there xox  Of course in the rush I can’t remember if they said their names, argghh I hope they get in touch, I gave them an Egg Donor Angels card so hopefully they will..

The other couple were from the USA and were doing a transfer, I’m hoping they will join my groups as well, this journey is so hard and it’s so nice to have others to chat to that totally get it xox

Tomorrow is egg collection for our donor so everything crossed… today it’s a beautiful day here and I’ve just spent a few hours on Egg Donor Angels so it’s time to do something as a family..

We’ve done most of the tourist things here but are going to do some again especially with Liam.. might go and see the white lions today, Liam will love that.. and we haven’t done that yet..

I will do a post very soon of the things to do in Cape Town and the surrounds for those that are considering coming or are coming here xox

Will do an update tomorrow as soon as we know something xox

 

A sibling for Liam… South Africa here we come again for the 4th time xox

So what’s been happening in our world…..

Once we were pregnant with Liam, we knew we wanted a sibling for him but we only had 2 embryo’s from our donor and transferred both and were pregnant with Liam…

Being older parents, we knew that we won’t be around for as long as younger parents and with a small family on both sides we wanted Liam to have a sibling that he was close to and they would be there for each other.

Our fertility clinic, Cape Fertility knew we were interested in doing another donor cycle with our egg donor there and in October 2015 they contacted us urgently to say our donor was doing a cycle but the recipients had pulled out and as Shane had left behind sperm in the freezer, would be interested in using it for our donors egg collection…  wow…. I rang Shane and immediately we agreed it felt right… so we did it all from a distance lol..

We ended up with 3 great embryo’s and 2 morula’s… so we thought, this is great, we’ll go back when Liams about 8 months and try again… and we felt we had a great chance at being successful..

So November last year (2016) we flew back to Cape Town South Africa for a quick trip, did our embryo transfer with 2 amazing embryo’s, did a stop over in Singapore and flew home feeling very confident..

Our first day home, I did a pregnancy test and it was positive, by that afternoon I felt nauseous and sick and we said oh that’s great, a good sign.. by that night, I was very very sick with a really bad gastro and so was Liam.. I’m not sure how I managed to check on him during the night and care for him but I did .. that’s I guess what Mummy’s do xox  By the following morning, I was so sick and so was Liam that I said to Shane, you need to take us to hospital..

So he did and they gave me an IV, blood test and some anti nausea drugs… the bloods came back with a positive pregnancy result and through how sick I felt, I was happy… we went home and rested and then poor Shane got it..

Days later we did another pregnancy test and the HCG came back as higher, not hugely but higher.. then the next one was the heartbreaking one.. the one where the Dr asks you to come and see them, you know it’s bad when they don’t just tell you your results on the phone..  our HCG had fallen to 25 and we were miscarrying… and we were  heartbroken

As I write this, I have to stop and take a break as it still hurts so much…

Determined me, I contacted my gyno and booked in that night to see him and see what to do next.. he sadly told us that there was no coming back from that HCG and we were definitely miscarrying.. so we did a hysterocopy the following day, I stopped my hormones and along came the bleed and the tears…

Then I picked myself up and said we’ve got one more embie and two morula’s lets go back as soon as we can and transfer them..

So back we went in February 2017,  this time no renovating (yes we painted our house and redid our floorboards before we left), no stress (yep there was lots of that prior to the last trip) and plenty of time there to rest and relax…

We all got colds in Cape Town, Liam was quite sick but we rested and pretty much did nothing for most of the trip.

This time we flew there direct with Qantas as the last trip, Singapore Airlines again had issues with their plane and we had to fight to get on another flight to SA, but we traveled for over 40 plus hours to get from Sydney to Cape Town via Bangkok and Dubai and lots of stress…  (our first trip our Singapore airlines flight home was delayed for over 10 hours, we had to sit in the departure lounge with no food as others took more than they needed and left none for the rest of us, awful tea and coffee and then when we got on the plane, we sat on the tarmac for 2 hours while they fixed an issue with the cargo door and then we only got fed once on the flight as the food spoiled and they didn’t factor that in.. argghh it was awful both times.. so Qantas it is from now on.. or Emirates… lol..

We got home and sadly a BFN… we were devastated..  but sadly the embryo we had didn’t defrost well and the 2 morula’s didn’t develop… we were devastated..

We had also found out we couldn’t use our original egg donor as there were issues with her ability to be an egg donor so we were devastated and even more so when we had transferred all our remaining embryo’s 🙁

We are truly grateful for our amazing little boy and felt that we maybe should be happy and accept that this is our family but we also just felt we weren’t quite ready to give up yet on a sibling for him..

So yep we are going back one more time in May with a new egg donor and a new cycle and hopefully a sibling for our wonderful little boy xox