infertility Archives - Egg Donor Angels

To tell or not to tell xox

This is a really emotional topic for many people and in my Facebook support groups, it often brings about a lot of discussion and sadly it doesn’t always end well with many members saying things they may not mean and may regret 🙁

My boys know their story, as a passionate advocate for egg donation and my cause Egg Donor Angels, I tell and share their story all the time and they know I spend many hours helping others with their journey xox

My belief has always been to tell, agree or disagree. I feel it’s in the best interests of the child going forwards. This is the family we worked so hard to get I think they deserve to know our “journey” to get them and they need to know how much they were wanted!

So I’ve always told the boys our story, our four trips to Cape Town to have them.. I prefer to sit down with them and tell them about it, show photos of our trips, show the photos of their donors and weave it into the fabric of their lives… to me this helps them to understand their story… I did read them the simple rhyming books when they were little but now they are 4 and 6 I find it’s better to talk about our journey to have them and show them their story.

The hardest part about donor conception is the “letting go of our own fertility and grieving” and sometimes I feel that many have not done this when not wanting to “tell their story”

Liam, the 6yo already asks interesting questions about babies and life, last night it was “did you choose if you were having a boy or a girl?” What I love is spending the time answering these questions and as crazy as this sounds telling them how it works as best I can before their eyes glaze over! So I explained how the sperm swims to the egg and one sperm will penetrate the egg and that sperm determines if the baby is a boy or a girl… I did a quiet sigh of relief when he didn’t ask how the sperm got to the egg.. of course I could explain the IVF version rather than the more intimate version 🙂

Everyone knows my boys are donor conceived and whilst I share our story with anyone that will listen, I know they will know that their story is there to help others know there is hope and to navigate infertility xox

I know for me and for many of us there have been or will be some comments made where we will feel judged, for example being called the grandparent or being told your too old and won’t live to see your children get older… I always smile, correct t them that I’m the mother and then I even go on to tell our story, to me it’s always about awareness… and educating people xox

I know our children will say things when they are angry or don’t get their own way that will hurt us right to the core of our heart and soul.. I fear they will say things like “you’re not my mother/father/parent”, “you couldn’t have your own children” or that the donor is their parent… deep breaths my friends, this is where we need to be strong again and resilient…. you’ve been strong before you can do this! I would sit them down when they are open to listening and say how much that hurt you and that you are their mother/parent/father and explain why you are, that it’s not just about “genetics” that its about love and creating a family that comes in all shapes and sizes. Repeat your story, maybe it’s time to tell more detail about the heartbreak you’ve endured to have them, miscarriages, loss etc. as hard as that is xox If needed I strongly suggest counselling, but find someone who understands IVF and donor conception. (I do plan to put together a list of IVF counsellors together soon)

Telling your child/children, family and friends about your IVF and donor conception journey is important for your child’s/children’s ongoing trust and knowledge about who they are and where they came from… Agree or disagree, sadly it’s not about our emotions and our grief xox

Dianne – founder of Egg Donor Angels

April 16, 2022

Tweets by eggdonorangels

Merry Christmas from all of us xox

So it’s been a crazy year with me being so sick last year with the pregnancy (high blood pressure and pre-eclampsia), then having Owen 6 weeks preemie, then weeks in the NICU with him coming home in January but with regular visits to the NICU till he gained enough weight… then lots of sickness for all of us and then I was diagnosed with a rare auto immune disease called Scleroderma… and just being busy with two young children 🙂

It’s wonderful that we can celebrate this Christmas as a family and at home. I still pinch myself that we have our gorgeous boys, what a journey we’ve been through but we made it. Our boys are so sweet, most of the time hehehe. Liam does the sweetest things like tucking Daddy in at night when he’s on a super early shift and has gone to sleep before the boys do but then he will push Owen away from trying to play with his toys… and then Liam will just come and give me the biggest hug whilst I’m doing something awwwwww. Owen is crawling with a mission lol… He is always on the move and looking for mischief and has just started this week to give hugs and blow kisses as well as raspberries… won’t be long and he’ll be walking. We celebrated Owen’s 1st Birthday on the 19th, it was a fabulous day though we can’t believe our tiny little baby has grown so much. We love our boys to the moon and back and to the stars, they are going to be the best of friends and yes with some fights..

I thought we’d have more time once Owen was born to do things and see people but with sickness, hospital visits, Shane’s roster/shifts and just life we just haven’t been able to do as much or catch up, sorry xox

… and I know I haven’t had as much time for Egg Donor Angels as I normally have or would like, sorry xox.

Hopefully this coming year will be less crazy hehehe xox

For those of you that have lost loved ones (family, friends and pets) this year or prior years but still grieving, hugs and love from us, Christmas is always hard as we miss them and its a time you would especially share with them xox

My Mum’s last visit to Sydney and before she got really sick 🙁

I miss my Mum, this year will be the 3rd Christmas without her and sadly my Dad passed away when I was a teenager…

Its funny how things remind you of what you were going through at that time, I remember that dress, we were still trying IVF with my eggs but we also at that time had a friends daughter offer to be our egg donor, health issues sadly prevented her from helping us which whilst we were disappointed we totally understood xox.

To those going through IVF whether with your own eggs or with an egg donor, hugs and love to you xox This emotional roller coaster ride is hard and often with many set backs and heartbreak along the way. We hope you get what you dreaming of xox

And remember I’m here to chat to, sometimes I just don’t get to my emails but if you need me I’m just a phone call away xox

We have lots of Facebook support groups with wonderful and amazing members to help you along the way xox

Egg donor angels recipients only

Egg donor angels international donor options

Egg donor angels Australia

Egg donor angels NZ

Egg donor angels US

Egg donor angels UK

Egg donor angels Canada

Egg donor angels Parents of donor conceived children

Egg donor angels Parents of South African donor conceived children

Egg donor angels parents of OE and ED children

Egg donor angels donors only support group

Egg Donor angels single women seeking egg, sperm and embyro donation

and the Facebook page “egg donor angels”

These groups are very supportive and a huge thank you to my amazing friends that help me admin the groups; Katherine, Natalie, Lauren and Christine, love you xox I couldn’t have kept Angels going the past 2 years without your help, thank you so much xox

To all our friends and family, we send our love this Christmas, thanks for your love and support and we hope you have an amazing day with the people you love xox

And we look forward to seeing you very soon xox

Here’s our Christmas photo shoot with the gorgeous and talented Elvia.

love Dianne, Shane, Liam and Owen xox

You can change the amount of columns in your galleries by dragging a slider in the block inspector in the sidebar.

Media Rich

If you combine the new wide and full-wide alignments with galleries, you can create a very media rich layout, very quickly:

Accessibility is important — don’t forget image alt attribute

Sure, the full-wide image can be pretty big. But sometimes the image is worth it.

The above is a gallery with just two images. It’s an easier way to create visually appealing layouts, without having to deal with floats. You can also easily convert the gallery back to individual images again, by using the block switcher.

Any block can opt into these alignments. The embed block has them also, and is responsive out of the box:

You can build any block you like, static or dynamic, decorative or plain. Here’s a pullquote block:

Code is Poetry
The WordPress community

If you want to learn more about how to build additional blocks, or if you are interested in helping with the project, head over to the GitHub repository.

Help build Gutenberg

Thanks for testing Gutenberg!

what a year it’s been xox

It’s been a crazy year for us, with having Owen preemie on the 19th December last year ….. three or so weeks in the NICU with 2 or 3 visits a day. Sometimes we’d drive down and home for each one, sometimes we’d stay around Penrith and go back…

When we got to take him home, it was wonderful but full on xox Owen struggled with his feeds and settling down and had silent reflux… so most feeds backed into each other with Mummy and sometimes Daddy trying to settle him between them.. so not much sleep or down time for Mummy along with Liam being an active 2-year-old as well…

Then we’ve just been constantly sick 🙁 especially me, flu’s, colds, bronchitis… and then I got diagnosed with an auto immune disease which explains some of the symptoms I’ve had for many years and why I’ve always had so much sickness.

To be honest it’s been tough… I don’t mean or want to complain but this is more about explaining why we’ve been so reclusive lol, why I’ve been slow to respond to emails and messages, why I haven’t been able to post as much on my Facebook groups or blog but I also want to share so others can know they are not alone..

With the constant sickness, I’ve just struggled and as most will attest to having a baby with a toddler is demanding and exhausting. I don’t know how I’ve done it to be honest, it seems a blur now hehehe.. I’m not sure how I’ve gotten up during the night and looked after Owen whilst so sick and tired and then often Liam would need me as well then the daytime, running a house, our investments, renovations to our house, Egg Donor Angels, setting up a SMSF along with the day-to-day stuff….

And every time I started to feel a wee bit better, I’d get knocked down again with another illness and with my auto immune disease I just seem to take so much longer to get better and then of course the boys would get it too..

And then a few weeks ago Liam got attacked by a local cat and it sliced his eyelid open… so off to our gp we went and then off to Westmead Children’s hospital that evening and sat among the poor sick children only for Liam to get the gastro days later and then Shane, Owen and finally me…

The good news is we’re on the mend yayyyy, I’ve started my medications for the auto immune disease and whilst life is still crazy busy for me/us, I’m hoping I will have a wee bit more time to spare lol…

Many I know have had a baby with a toddler and we all say “oh my” it’s exhausting and you don’t get much time…

…but what I want to let everyone know is that in regard to Egg Donor Angels, I am here for you and if you need to talk to me, email me, PM me or just call me on my mobile…. I may not answer if things are crazy with the boys but keep trying or txt me so I know to call you back when I can… xox

and any friends/family reading this we hope to have more time to catch up now… we’ve missed this xox

Owen came home and he’s put on weight…

On Sunday the 7th of January, a very hot day in Penrith, the Dr’s approved us to bring Owen home, yayyyyy

They loved the written note on Owen’s crib asking if he could, thanks to one of the fabulous NICU nurses for writing it xox

We were so happy to take him home but he’s still so tiny and hardly fits in his capsule, we’ve got the straps on the smallest setting! Of course nervous as well.

It was nice not to be going to the hospital several times a day but then came the 3 hourly feeds 🙂 all worth it though xox

We had to go back a few times every couple of days to get him weighed and checked and each time he put on weight, though the first weigh in only a little but he’s now 2.10kg or probably more as that was at the last weigh in.

Liam is great with him, really gentle most of the time and gives him kisses, too cute! Though he gets boisterous and not so gentle with Owen or with us.. but he’s very good and at night when we put him to bed he blows Owen a kiss goodnight in his bassinet… he melts my heart xox

We’ve not done much with him home, I’m still sore and exhausted and my blood pressure is still playing up a bit, more to do with now not being pregnant and getting the medications right and in line with my bp coming down and righting itself.. some huge headaches with this ride but hopefully the high bp was pregnancy related and will right itself soon.

Owen is growing and we did introduce him to Shane’s Nan the other day, she’s 98 and doing well considering and she got to cuddle him lots.

The great team that helped us to get our two boys xox

(photo of Dr Matabese from Cape Fertility to come :))

Owen and Dr Merchant (our local GP, he’s amazing)

Sarah and me (Sarah was our reg Ob for Liam and delivered him for us and now works for Dr Pardey, she’s gorgeous xox)

and here’s the gorgeous Maree, she was our reg Ob with Liam’s pregnancy for the most part and she with Dr Pardey delivered Owen, and is also amazing xox

Cheryl at Balance Medical, did all my blood tests and has been along for the ride xox

The lovely Simone and Cheryl at Balance xox

Well I think that’s our family complete for us, though we might consider adoption in a few years or maybe fostering… I don’t think i can put any of us or our team through another pregnancy, though I did give Dr Pardey, Maree and Sarah a scare by saying I wanted to be a surrogate, and yes I’d love to do this but again I can’t put my family through another complicated pregnancy. Whilst another pregnancy might be much easier like it was with Liam there’s no guarantee so that’s it for us xox

We are considering on-donating our embryo’s in Cape Town at some point, we just need to get through the next year or so and we’ll start this process xox

So as soon as I finish breast feeding Owen, I’ll be back to see the lovely Prof Kefford to do a check up and probably start Tamoxifen for a few years to keep that big C away…

Gosh I can’t believe we’ve done it, phew and yayyyyy it’s a bit surreal still and after so many years and so much heartache it does seem like a dream.

Now to focus on our boys and helping others achieve this…. thanks again for everyone’s support and help along the way and we hope we can continue to help others to achieve their dream.

Lots of love Dianne, Shane, Liam and Owen xoxox

A Christmas baby :)

so we’re almost 34 weeks but looks like our little tiger is going to be a Christmas baby 🙂

It’s been a struggle keeping my high blood pressure under control and I’ve just been at regular Dr’s appointments, scans and totally exhausted. Last week whilst really sick with the flu/virus my gp expressed his concerns, so off to our Ob; Dr Pardey I went the next day with a hospital bag packed and here I still am waiting to see how long we can let our little one “cook” before he pops out into our world 🙂 I have pre-eclampsia so it’s just a waiting and balancing game to let tiger grow a bit more but keep him and me healthy.

I’m in hospital till he arrives and probably for some time afterwards so I can heal and they can monitor my blood pressure and keep it stable as well. We think it’s going to be this week but…. its day by day…

He’ll probably have to spend some time in care as he’s a wee bit early so his first Christmas will probably be in a hospital but as long as he’s safe and healthy that’s the main thing.

We’ll update everyone with any news as soon as we can, thanks for your support xox

So we are 24 plus weeks and are still super nervous xox

Hey everyone xoxox

wow what a roller coaster ride this has been… transfer was done, we got a positive home pregnancy test and then a positive blood HCG test result but as many of you would know having been through this, this is on the start of the many milestones that you have to pass until that little baby is in your arms xox

Our HCG levels continued to rise which was great but on the June Monday long weekend public holiday and I started to bleed… at first it was a bit then within a few hours I was bleeding with large clots and almost non stop, it was just so awful and scary (sorry for the too much information) absolutely terrified and thinking we were losing the baby I said to Shane we need to go to the hospital…

We went to Katoomba hospital as we felt on a public holiday it would be quieter than Nepean… and it was… thank goodness they put us in a room where I continued to bleed and every time I went to the toilet I was petrified our little one was lost to us (again sorry for the TMI 🙂 xox)

We were beyond terrified, the bleeding and clots continued and we were sure this was it, we’d miscarried.. as were the hospital team. The on call Ob assessed me and offered us to do a currette but Shane and I wanted to make sure we had lost the baby before we took any action. I asked if they could do an ultrasound at almost 6 weeks, surely they would know if the little one was still there but they don’t have a full time/permanent ultrasound technician or one on call… the Ob suggested we do bloods and compare with the past weeks HCG levels and we totally agreed… so we waited whilst these came back and they admitted me as a patient as they were concerned about my blood loss and thought they would be doing surgery. I was on nil by mouth in preparation for surgery and when the bloods came back with a rise in HCG levels, we had no definitive answer, if only we could do an ultrasound! They put me in maternity in a room and kept me nil by mouth as they were still concerned about my blood loss and I spent a stressful night there with very little sleep researching online the option of going back to Cape Town as we have good quality embryo’s in the freezer there…

They suggested to do bloods the next morning and see if there was another rise if they didn’t have to do emergency surgery and we would go from there… I stopped bleeding that night but I felt totally awful, stressed, sick and exhausted..

Finally mid morning they took blood and hours later we got the results back.. oh my goodness they had risen again.. not hugely but enough to say the pregnancy was still viable.. though again if only we could do an ultrasound 🙂

They said i’d lost a lot of blood and needed to be on strict rest as i’d potentially had a subchorionic hematoma and they wanted me to stay another night as they feared if I went home I wouldn’t rest and they wanted to monitor me still. And knowing me whilst the pregnancy was so precious, I’m not good at sitting still and not doing anything hehehe.

So another sleepless night there waiting for the ultrasound the next morning.. yes they do them Monday’s, Wednesdays and Fridays but not on public holidays and no one on call.. argghhhhhh it was awful and all we wanted was an answer.

Finally they wheeled me down to the ultrasound and the whole room was filled with a nervous energy… he tried to do an external scan but couldn’t see anything, that stressed me more, as often they can see something at that stage externally.. so he did an internal, we all held our breaths and with great surprise and relief he announced I’ve got a heartbeat… I had to ask him to repeat it.. I think I took my first real breath for days… I think everyone in the room took a breath and then had tears, I knew that this was great but it was just one hurdle to overcome of many…

The heartbeat was good and he confirmed there was a subchorionic hematoma … I can’t believe our little one held on through all of that… we went back to the room and the Ob was so happy he came and saw us straight away but with very strict instructions.. ‘you must rest, no heavy lifting, no lifting at all for weeks, take it easy’ etc. I didn’t care, this baby is too precious for us and I’d do anything to ensure bubs was safe…

So home we went happy but still super nervous as we could still lose the baby… now unusually for me I pretty much obeyed the Ob and Shane.. but I knew I had to, I was at too much risk of losing the baby not to. Any woman/couple who have had a bleed in the pregnancy will know and understand the fear of seeing any blood, it almost consumes you and you stop breathing at those moments when you expect to see blood and breath again when there’s none…

I rested and I’ve been super quiet as I’ve had no choice… of course this pregnancy has been riddled with humps, Liam’s pregnancy was really quite easy when we expected it not to be and this one we thought would be ok, lol, never assume I say… hehehe

I’ve had amazing support, with Egg Donor Angels just growing and growing, I asked some lovely and awesome women to admin the groups with one that had already been helping me for years and they have been fabulous and I can’t thank them enough, Katherine, Natalie, Lauren, Kasey and Christine, love you girls xox This has helped me to somewhat stay on top of the many emails, phone calls, advertisements, private messages and Facebook page updates, thank goodness.

I had terrible “all day sickness” again with this pregnancy and awful hives from the medications, thankfully this stopped by about week 14ish.. but thanks to my breast cancer chemo my reflux becomes horrendous during pregnancy, so that’s been fun but my amazing GP Dr Merchant has helped with some safe medication for it, not a cure but a huge help.

We were going through the high risk pregnancy unit at Nepean originally but upon advice from my GP we moved to Dr Pardy and we are super excited that his team expands next year with my two favorite obstetricians just in time for this bubs arrival, wooohoooooo love these two xoxox pity our previous awesome and gorgeous midwife can’t be there as well, but you never know, I know she’ll be visiting us though xoxox

I had a “discharge” about 6 weeks ago where I was told to present at Nepean emergency where Liam and I spent the day waiting and nervous… what they did diagnose was that I had really high blood pressure and when I went to see the Ob for the next few visits this was highlighted and eventually I was put on medication to try and bring it down. Our fabulous GP has been also monitoring this closely as well thank goodness and after increasing my medication, it’s coming down but again I’m on strict rest argghhhhh … after moving GP’s due to my previous GP’s lack of duty of care in diagnosing my breast cancer earlier, we found our awesome GP :).

The lovely blood pressure medication makes me feel exhausted and of course being pregnant and running after a very active 19 month old along with the day to day life and Egg Donor Angels and other projects, I’m not surprised lol.. not whinging we wanted this so much but I have to say it’s been rather tough and there are days that I’m not sure how I got through them 🙂

We’ve also had some concerns with bubs, he’s (yes that’s right it’s a boy :)) a bit small for his age/gestation, he’s possibly got a hole in his heart, possibly got a genetic issue (low risk) and my amniotic fluid is low… so we’ve had quite a few scans and need to do more to monitor all of this and more Dr’s and specialists appointments… we’ll be glad when he’s here safe and sound xox

So that’s where we’re at, I started writing this post around the 12 week mark and I’ve gone back to it a few times only to not finish it, today I was determined to finish it as I know many of you are wondering how it’s all going and why I’ve been so quiet xox

I’m so sorry if I’ve missed Birthday’s, emails, messages, calls etc. I’m so sorry but I’ve truly been taking it easy so we don’t lose this baby and with all the issues.. and the usual exhaustion now exacerbated by the pregnancy, I have been a bit quiet, I hope you’ll forgive me and understand and once bubs is here and we’ve settled in things will return to a more “normal” as best it can with two little ones lol.

Thanks everyone for your love and support and even though we have all this going on, we still want to hear from you and see you, I just might not be as proactive as I normally am at the moment xoxox

And here he is a few weeks ago xoxox

Transfer done, now the 2ww xox

It’s our last full day in Cape Town and whilst we are looking forward to going home there is a tinge of sadness to leave this beautiful city and the friends we have made along our journey xox

Our egg donor gave us some wonderful eggs and we ended up with 2 fabulous quality embryo’s to transfer and 6 in the freezer 🙂

Transfer was Monday and all went wonderfully and we are now in the 2ww nervously… each step is so very hard, its the decision to use an egg donor or for us to do another cycle after our last miscarriage and negative, it’s the process of seeing if your egg donor is suitable then the cycle begins and are they responding and well and will you get good quality embryo’s that give you the best possible chance xox

Its the egg collection and how many fertilise, then how are they going at each stage and how many embryo’s you have and what quality they are…

Then of course once you’ve done the transfer it’s the waiting, listening to your body and each twinge and symptom brings about “could we be pregnant?”… the hormones play with your body and your mind as does the emotions of the whole journey… your hopeful and you want this so badly but you also know there’s always that risk/chance its not going to be successful….it’s a numbers game… you do everything you can to ensure the best possible outcome, acupuncture, Chinese herbs, endo scratch, hysteroscopy, vitamins, supplements and so the list goes on..

I know many of you reading this will relate either doing your own IVF with your own eggs and doing IVF using an egg donor… it’s a roller coaster of emotions and whilst you try to “not stress” and “not think about it too much” and “relax” you know your mind is there in that place xox

I will do a future post about Cape Town, what to see and do as it is a beautiful city and the people are lovely xox

We have done some further sightseeing, we did Kirstenbosch gardens, Moyo restaurant for Mother’s Day, Simons Town, Bree Street and the famous Mount Nelson Hotel High Tea. Every day we have done a lovely walk along the bay and have had a great time with Liam playing in the playgrounds. We found a great children’s playground along the waterfront that’s fenced and gated with a track for him to ride his tricycle around and a swing, slide and climbing stuff.. he’s loved playing and riding his trike and it’s been wonderful having this family time… Liam’s made many friends, he just loves to people watch and he’s so friendly smiling and chatting to the locals…

We got to catch up with some friends we’ve made here previously and that was lovely, though not enough time and we hope that when we bring Liam back when he’s older we will have more time to spend with them.

I’m nervous to write anymore about our chances of success or if I think we are successful, I plan to do a home pregnancy test probably around day 8 or 9 just before bloods and even just writing that makes my heart skip a beat…

To those that are thinking of going overseas, don’t be afraid of doing this, so many are going and are successful, it’s not as scary as you think, most clinics are as good as Australia/the USA, are reasonably priced and the success rates are very good… and I’m happy to chat to you about it …

I’ve been wearing my Mum’s heart locket here with a photo of her and Dad in it so she’s with us and my lucky elephant from a good friend… and of course all the hope and good wishes from our friends xoxox

Fingers and toes crossed we are pregnant with a sibling for Liam… chat soon, love from us xoxox

We’ve arrived in Cape Town for our new cycle xox

We arrived on Saturday night exhausted and spent Sunday just relaxing and settling in again… After a crazy week at home in the lead up to coming here.. typical of us to have so much going on at any given time hehehe but that’s just who we are xox

Yesterday I had my lining scan and it’s looking great.. our donor also had her scans and everything is looking good, phew!

It was lovely to see Dr Matabese and Danelle at Cape Fertility again, such gorgeous people and they make this journey much easier and nicer xox

We met a couple of lovely recipients in the waiting room, a Mum and Daughter that were actually on our flight on the way over.. she made me cry when she said “I just want to be a Mummy” xox I remember her Mum as she kept smiling and chatting to Liam as he crawled up and down the aisle on the plane… such a small world when you see people that were on your flight at your clinic and find out that they are on the same journey.. I hope she gets her dream and hopefully she will join my groups as I think she’ll be a great support on there xox Of course in the rush I can’t remember if they said their names, argghh I hope they get in touch, I gave them an Egg Donor Angels card so hopefully they will..

The other couple were from the USA and were doing a transfer, I’m hoping they will join my groups as well, this journey is so hard and it’s so nice to have others to chat to that totally get it xox

Tomorrow is egg collection for our donor so everything crossed… today it’s a beautiful day here and I’ve just spent a few hours on Egg Donor Angels so it’s time to do something as a family..

We’ve done most of the tourist things here but are going to do some again especially with Liam.. might go and see the white lions today, Liam will love that.. and we haven’t done that yet..

I will do a post very soon of the things to do in Cape Town and the surrounds for those that are considering coming or are coming here xox

Will do an update tomorrow as soon as we know something xox

A sibling for Liam… South Africa here we come again for the 4th time xox

So what’s been happening in our world…..

Once we were pregnant with Liam, we knew we wanted a sibling for him but we only had 2 embryo’s from our donor and transferred both and were pregnant with Liam…

Being older parents, we knew that we won’t be around for as long as younger parents and with a small family on both sides we wanted Liam to have a sibling that he was close to and they would be there for each other.

Our fertility clinic, Cape Fertility knew we were interested in doing another donor cycle with our egg donor there and in October 2015 they contacted us urgently to say our donor was doing a cycle but the recipients had pulled out and as Shane had left behind sperm in the freezer, would be interested in using it for our donors egg collection… wow…. I rang Shane and immediately we agreed it felt right… so we did it all from a distance lol..

We ended up with 3 great embryo’s and 2 morula’s… so we thought, this is great, we’ll go back when Liams about 8 months and try again… and we felt we had a great chance at being successful..

So November last year (2016) we flew back to Cape Town South Africa for a quick trip, did our embryo transfer with 2 amazing embryo’s, did a stop over in Singapore and flew home feeling very confident..

Our first day home, I did a pregnancy test and it was positive, by that afternoon I felt nauseous and sick and we said oh that’s great, a good sign.. by that night, I was very very sick with a really bad gastro and so was Liam.. I’m not sure how I managed to check on him during the night and care for him but I did .. that’s I guess what Mummy’s do xox By the following morning, I was so sick and so was Liam that I said to Shane, you need to take us to hospital..

So he did and they gave me an IV, blood test and some anti nausea drugs… the bloods came back with a positive pregnancy result and through how sick I felt, I was happy… we went home and rested and then poor Shane got it..

Days later we did another pregnancy test and the HCG came back as higher, not hugely but higher.. then the next one was the heartbreaking one.. the one where the Dr asks you to come and see them, you know it’s bad when they don’t just tell you your results on the phone.. our HCG had fallen to 25 and we were miscarrying… and we were heartbroken

As I write this, I have to stop and take a break as it still hurts so much…

Determined me, I contacted my gyno and booked in that night to see him and see what to do next.. he sadly told us that there was no coming back from that HCG and we were definitely miscarrying.. so we did a hysterocopy the following day, I stopped my hormones and along came the bleed and the tears…

Then I picked myself up and said we’ve got one more embie and two morula’s lets go back as soon as we can and transfer them..

So back we went in February 2017, this time no renovating (yes we painted our house and redid our floorboards before we left), no stress (yep there was lots of that prior to the last trip) and plenty of time there to rest and relax…

We all got colds in Cape Town, Liam was quite sick but we rested and pretty much did nothing for most of the trip.

This time we flew there direct with Qantas as the last trip, Singapore Airlines again had issues with their plane and we had to fight to get on another flight to SA, but we traveled for over 40 plus hours to get from Sydney to Cape Town via Bangkok and Dubai and lots of stress… (our first trip our Singapore airlines flight home was delayed for over 10 hours, we had to sit in the departure lounge with no food as others took more than they needed and left none for the rest of us, awful tea and coffee and then when we got on the plane, we sat on the tarmac for 2 hours while they fixed an issue with the cargo door and then we only got fed once on the flight as the food spoiled and they didn’t factor that in.. argghh it was awful both times.. so Qantas it is from now on.. or Emirates… lol..

We got home and sadly a BFN… we were devastated.. but sadly the embryo we had didn’t defrost well and the 2 morula’s didn’t develop… we were devastated..

We had also found out we couldn’t use our original egg donor as there were issues with her ability to be an egg donor so we were devastated and even more so when we had transferred all our remaining embryo’s 🙁

We are truly grateful for our amazing little boy and felt that we maybe should be happy and accept that this is our family but we also just felt we weren’t quite ready to give up yet on a sibling for him..

So yep we are going back one more time in May with a new egg donor and a new cycle and hopefully a sibling for our wonderful little boy xox

After holding our breath for almost 9 months, here he is finally, our Egg Donor Angel conceived little boy is here xox

Hey everyone, sorry it’s taken me so long to post our news and updates 🙁 Life has been a wee bit hectic lately and several times I’ve tried to do this post and thanks to my computer crashing have lost what I had written…. but I’m back and ready to make this happen lol.. xox

So, let me introduce Liam James Heron, our little miracle boy xox, born Friday 26th February at 8.57am at Nepean Hospital weighing 2.93 kilos and measuring 47.5cm.. he’s now 5.44kg and 59.5cm.. and growing lol. Thanks to the awesome and divine team at the University of Sydney Nepean clinic, that’s Maree, Sarah and yes you too Tracy, you all made our pregnancy and the birth so much more special and we can’t wait to go again and have you looking after us.. after that we hope to catch up and stay friends xox

So after a crazy plus year, losing Mum, dealing with settling her affairs and a family member causing major issues and conflict, dealing with our clinic not freezing our embryo’s properly and losing all 11 of them, trying another donor cycle with the devastation of it not working, making the decision to go to South Africa for our egg donor angel and then to find that our donor didn’t respond well and we had one little good quality embryo but it’s ok, that embie was Liam and we are soooo happy he’s here.

We can’t believe he is and whilst every parent has those “first” moments and “wow” moments, ours are just huge and overwhelming..

The pregnancy was good considering my history, I remember my first appointment with Maree, it was hours going through my history lol and then chatting heaps to Tracy about my passion with Egg Donor Angels and just infertility etc. And our first appointment with Sarah this year where we spoke to her about going back to South Africa for a sibling for Liam in November.. she was amazing and said “I understand why” and supported us.. as crazy as it seems..

So you might ask why when we have our little boy.. well we are older parents and we won’t be around for as long as some parents for Liam, our families aren’t big and aren’t getting any younger lol like all of us.. we have amazing friends whose children are going to be like family to Liam and of course my beautiful and amazing cousin’s children will be fabulous cousins to him and guide him along his paths as well.. but we both always wanted more than one but we also want Liam to have a little brother or sister that he has by his side for the rest of his and their lives.. when we aren’t there xox

So we go back to Cape Town in November to go again. Our donor has done another cycle for us… we were discussing doing another one with the donor agency and with the IVF clinic when they contacted us and said that the recipients had pulled out of a cycle with her and would we like to use Shane’s frozen sample/sperm and do the cycle.. we knew we wanted to go again so we thought oh well lets do it now.. so we have 1 fabulous embie, 2 really good ones and 2 not so good in the freezer waiting for us and we feel confident that we will have another successful pregnancy from this.

So my pregnancy, I loved being pregnant even with the high blood pressure scares, the terrible reflux (I already have awful re-flux from chemo but this made it much much worse if possible lol), the swelling and the pain in all my scars and my side from the breast cancer etc. .. but it was all worth it, even the last month where it was hard to sleep and do anything lol…….

So our wonderful team booked us in for a C section on the 26th and as that day rolled around we felt nervous but also surreal that it was real and happening.. I felt sad that he was not going to be safe and warm in my belly but sooo excited to meet him as well.. everything went well, Tracy looked after Shane wonderfully and me prior to delivery and then Liam and she was the first one other than the gorgeous Sarah that delivered him to hold him… and check him out.. it was a weird feeling not being able to feel or move my lower half, gosh I’ve always had empathy for invalids but I can sort of relate to it for a short time anyway.

We all got to cuddle him and have skin to skin time in recovery and then in our room and then Marleen (Shane’s dads partner) and Shane’s Mum came to the hospital and got to meet him as well. As I didn’t know if I would be able to breast feed, the midwives suggested we do a “line feed” for him.. basically using a syringe and a line and feeding him through the tube/line on my nipple.. it worked well and Shane and I managed to prepare and to it on our own and I even did it on my own own lol several times.. it was nice to know that I had that considering everything.. that was done on the breast that didn’t have the cancer in it but had a reduction as it was dare I say cheaper to have it reduced and get a smaller implant than get a larger implant in the cancerous breast.. our government doesn’t consider breast reconstruction after breast cancer necessary, apparently it’s elective.. but that’s another story and passion of mine to change xox

The hospital was great, Liam had some jaundice and had treatment, the worst part of it was the little eye mask he had to wear and he hated it.. but it was necessary.. we went home on the Monday night, Shane had to work that day.. and as we packed up and got into the car with Liam loaded up we had to stop and take a breath.. oh my we both said, he’s real and he’s hear and oh they are letting us out of here to look after him.. yikes.. lol.. but it was fine…

We went back a few days later for a check up and I asked them how to check to see if I had any breast milk, we hand expressed and as some milk came out we all cried for joy… so I am able to do a mix of bottle and breastfeeding to him.. which is great as I get that contact with closeness with him but Shane also gets to bottle feed him and have that closeness as well… we get the best of both worlds.. I’m so pleased as he would have gotten the colostrom as he was on my breast quite a bit with the line feeding and he’s getting nutrients from both options.. win win I say 🙂 xox

And yes I am exhausted, tired, sleep deprived and as I wander up the hallway at all hours of the night in my routine, put my pillows up, get the bib, get my feeding pillow, go the kitchen, prepare and heat up the bottle.. all I can say is oh wow he’s here.. Some nights I manage to unpack the dishwasher, sterilise his bottles and fill them with kettle/boiled water.. some nights, I post and comment on Egg Donor Angels Facebook groups and some nights I fall asleep holding the bottle feeding him.. and just cuddling him..

I’m trying to stay on top of Egg Donor Angels but some days are just filled with Liam and stuff.. though we have been out and about quite a bit, we got to catch up with one of my gorgeous donors from my site in the city, so Liam had his first train ride, we’ve been shopping and to lunch and dinner with friends, we’ve had lots of visitors including my self adopted Dad, friends and another wonderful donor from here as well to name a few.. we’ve been on a car club run in the XY and I’ve started walking with him and Scoutie the dog.. oh and I’ve joined the local new parents group.. and yep already mentioned Egg Donor Angels lol…

So now I’m going to put up lots of photos as I know you all want to see them and I hope to do more posts and especially on our next stage of our journey, the next little one.. yayyyy we can’t wait.. as nervous as we are.. and know we will be holding our breath again for the whole pregnancy.. it’s all worth it..

And maybe I’ll write a book about this whole journey and for awareness.. I’m thinking the title along the lines of “holding our breath waiting for our miracle egg donor baby” or something similar but definitely with “holding our breath”.. as the whole pregnancy, we just couldn’t get too excited as we knew we had to get to the end and see him before we could..

Oh and the name.. well we hadn’t really decided on any, it only took us 3 weeks to finally decide lol.. I think we just couldn’t make that decicsion till we met him and till we knew he was here safe and sound.. and then we were looking at an African name that meant “long awaited” but it wasn’t correct.. and then any African names we looked at were too hard to pronounce for us Aussies.. so we both liked Liam and James so that was it.. though if it’s a boy for the next one, and I keep saying it is, I actually already have a name, not one that we had for Liam, one I have chosen after he was named.. it’s a name from a TV series from my childhood and I always loved it.. just only thought of it recently.. if it’s a girl the next one well.. I had some names picked out years ago but sadly I’ve forgotten them.. but I’m sure 3 weeks after he/she is born we’ll decide lol again..

Thanks for all your support, love and just everything, to those still on the journey let me know what we can do to help you achieve this, to those that have helped us, thank you so much, we love you all xoxox

Dianne, Shane, Liam, Scout the dog, Sooty the Cat and the chickens xoxox

Liam tonka trucks 240316 (5) to use smaller

Liam tonka trucks 240316 (2) to use smaller