fertility Archives - Egg Donor Angels

Owen came home and he’s put on weight…

On Sunday the 7th of January, a very hot day in Penrith, the Dr’s approved us to bring Owen home, yayyyyy

They loved the written note on Owen’s crib asking if he could, thanks to one of the fabulous NICU nurses for writing it xox

We were so happy to take him home but he’s still so tiny and hardly fits in his capsule, we’ve got the straps on the smallest setting! Of course nervous as well.

It was nice not to be going to the hospital several times a day but then came the 3 hourly feeds 🙂 all worth it though xox

We had to go back a few times every couple of days to get him weighed and checked and each time he put on weight, though the first weigh in only a little but he’s now 2.10kg or probably more as that was at the last weigh in.

Liam is great with him, really gentle most of the time and gives him kisses, too cute! Though he gets boisterous and not so gentle with Owen or with us.. but he’s very good and at night when we put him to bed he blows Owen a kiss goodnight in his bassinet… he melts my heart xox

We’ve not done much with him home, I’m still sore and exhausted and my blood pressure is still playing up a bit, more to do with now not being pregnant and getting the medications right and in line with my bp coming down and righting itself.. some huge headaches with this ride but hopefully the high bp was pregnancy related and will right itself soon.

Owen is growing and we did introduce him to Shane’s Nan the other day, she’s 98 and doing well considering and she got to cuddle him lots.

The great team that helped us to get our two boys xox

(photo of Dr Matabese from Cape Fertility to come :))

Owen and Dr Merchant (our local GP, he’s amazing)

Sarah and me (Sarah was our reg Ob for Liam and delivered him for us and now works for Dr Pardey, she’s gorgeous xox)

and here’s the gorgeous Maree, she was our reg Ob with Liam’s pregnancy for the most part and she with Dr Pardey delivered Owen, and is also amazing xox

Cheryl at Balance Medical, did all my blood tests and has been along for the ride xox

The lovely Simone and Cheryl at Balance xox

Well I think that’s our family complete for us, though we might consider adoption in a few years or maybe fostering… I don’t think i can put any of us or our team through another pregnancy, though I did give Dr Pardey, Maree and Sarah a scare by saying I wanted to be a surrogate, and yes I’d love to do this but again I can’t put my family through another complicated pregnancy. Whilst another pregnancy might be much easier like it was with Liam there’s no guarantee so that’s it for us xox

We are considering on-donating our embryo’s in Cape Town at some point, we just need to get through the next year or so and we’ll start this process xox

So as soon as I finish breast feeding Owen, I’ll be back to see the lovely Prof Kefford to do a check up and probably start Tamoxifen for a few years to keep that big C away…

Gosh I can’t believe we’ve done it, phew and yayyyyy it’s a bit surreal still and after so many years and so much heartache it does seem like a dream.

Now to focus on our boys and helping others achieve this…. thanks again for everyone’s support and help along the way and we hope we can continue to help others to achieve their dream.

Lots of love Dianne, Shane, Liam and Owen xoxox

So we are 24 plus weeks and are still super nervous xox

Hey everyone xoxox

wow what a roller coaster ride this has been… transfer was done, we got a positive home pregnancy test and then a positive blood HCG test result but as many of you would know having been through this, this is on the start of the many milestones that you have to pass until that little baby is in your arms xox

Our HCG levels continued to rise which was great but on the June Monday long weekend public holiday and I started to bleed… at first it was a bit then within a few hours I was bleeding with large clots and almost non stop, it was just so awful and scary (sorry for the too much information) absolutely terrified and thinking we were losing the baby I said to Shane we need to go to the hospital…

We went to Katoomba hospital as we felt on a public holiday it would be quieter than Nepean… and it was… thank goodness they put us in a room where I continued to bleed and every time I went to the toilet I was petrified our little one was lost to us (again sorry for the TMI 🙂 xox)

We were beyond terrified, the bleeding and clots continued and we were sure this was it, we’d miscarried.. as were the hospital team. The on call Ob assessed me and offered us to do a currette but Shane and I wanted to make sure we had lost the baby before we took any action. I asked if they could do an ultrasound at almost 6 weeks, surely they would know if the little one was still there but they don’t have a full time/permanent ultrasound technician or one on call… the Ob suggested we do bloods and compare with the past weeks HCG levels and we totally agreed… so we waited whilst these came back and they admitted me as a patient as they were concerned about my blood loss and thought they would be doing surgery. I was on nil by mouth in preparation for surgery and when the bloods came back with a rise in HCG levels, we had no definitive answer, if only we could do an ultrasound! They put me in maternity in a room and kept me nil by mouth as they were still concerned about my blood loss and I spent a stressful night there with very little sleep researching online the option of going back to Cape Town as we have good quality embryo’s in the freezer there…

They suggested to do bloods the next morning and see if there was another rise if they didn’t have to do emergency surgery and we would go from there… I stopped bleeding that night but I felt totally awful, stressed, sick and exhausted..

Finally mid morning they took blood and hours later we got the results back.. oh my goodness they had risen again.. not hugely but enough to say the pregnancy was still viable.. though again if only we could do an ultrasound 🙂

They said i’d lost a lot of blood and needed to be on strict rest as i’d potentially had a subchorionic hematoma and they wanted me to stay another night as they feared if I went home I wouldn’t rest and they wanted to monitor me still. And knowing me whilst the pregnancy was so precious, I’m not good at sitting still and not doing anything hehehe.

So another sleepless night there waiting for the ultrasound the next morning.. yes they do them Monday’s, Wednesdays and Fridays but not on public holidays and no one on call.. argghhhhhh it was awful and all we wanted was an answer.

Finally they wheeled me down to the ultrasound and the whole room was filled with a nervous energy… he tried to do an external scan but couldn’t see anything, that stressed me more, as often they can see something at that stage externally.. so he did an internal, we all held our breaths and with great surprise and relief he announced I’ve got a heartbeat… I had to ask him to repeat it.. I think I took my first real breath for days… I think everyone in the room took a breath and then had tears, I knew that this was great but it was just one hurdle to overcome of many…

The heartbeat was good and he confirmed there was a subchorionic hematoma … I can’t believe our little one held on through all of that… we went back to the room and the Ob was so happy he came and saw us straight away but with very strict instructions.. ‘you must rest, no heavy lifting, no lifting at all for weeks, take it easy’ etc. I didn’t care, this baby is too precious for us and I’d do anything to ensure bubs was safe…

So home we went happy but still super nervous as we could still lose the baby… now unusually for me I pretty much obeyed the Ob and Shane.. but I knew I had to, I was at too much risk of losing the baby not to. Any woman/couple who have had a bleed in the pregnancy will know and understand the fear of seeing any blood, it almost consumes you and you stop breathing at those moments when you expect to see blood and breath again when there’s none…

I rested and I’ve been super quiet as I’ve had no choice… of course this pregnancy has been riddled with humps, Liam’s pregnancy was really quite easy when we expected it not to be and this one we thought would be ok, lol, never assume I say… hehehe

I’ve had amazing support, with Egg Donor Angels just growing and growing, I asked some lovely and awesome women to admin the groups with one that had already been helping me for years and they have been fabulous and I can’t thank them enough, Katherine, Natalie, Lauren, Kasey and Christine, love you girls xox This has helped me to somewhat stay on top of the many emails, phone calls, advertisements, private messages and Facebook page updates, thank goodness.

I had terrible “all day sickness” again with this pregnancy and awful hives from the medications, thankfully this stopped by about week 14ish.. but thanks to my breast cancer chemo my reflux becomes horrendous during pregnancy, so that’s been fun but my amazing GP Dr Merchant has helped with some safe medication for it, not a cure but a huge help.

We were going through the high risk pregnancy unit at Nepean originally but upon advice from my GP we moved to Dr Pardy and we are super excited that his team expands next year with my two favorite obstetricians just in time for this bubs arrival, wooohoooooo love these two xoxox pity our previous awesome and gorgeous midwife can’t be there as well, but you never know, I know she’ll be visiting us though xoxox

I had a “discharge” about 6 weeks ago where I was told to present at Nepean emergency where Liam and I spent the day waiting and nervous… what they did diagnose was that I had really high blood pressure and when I went to see the Ob for the next few visits this was highlighted and eventually I was put on medication to try and bring it down. Our fabulous GP has been also monitoring this closely as well thank goodness and after increasing my medication, it’s coming down but again I’m on strict rest argghhhhh … after moving GP’s due to my previous GP’s lack of duty of care in diagnosing my breast cancer earlier, we found our awesome GP :).

The lovely blood pressure medication makes me feel exhausted and of course being pregnant and running after a very active 19 month old along with the day to day life and Egg Donor Angels and other projects, I’m not surprised lol.. not whinging we wanted this so much but I have to say it’s been rather tough and there are days that I’m not sure how I got through them 🙂

We’ve also had some concerns with bubs, he’s (yes that’s right it’s a boy :)) a bit small for his age/gestation, he’s possibly got a hole in his heart, possibly got a genetic issue (low risk) and my amniotic fluid is low… so we’ve had quite a few scans and need to do more to monitor all of this and more Dr’s and specialists appointments… we’ll be glad when he’s here safe and sound xox

So that’s where we’re at, I started writing this post around the 12 week mark and I’ve gone back to it a few times only to not finish it, today I was determined to finish it as I know many of you are wondering how it’s all going and why I’ve been so quiet xox

I’m so sorry if I’ve missed Birthday’s, emails, messages, calls etc. I’m so sorry but I’ve truly been taking it easy so we don’t lose this baby and with all the issues.. and the usual exhaustion now exacerbated by the pregnancy, I have been a bit quiet, I hope you’ll forgive me and understand and once bubs is here and we’ve settled in things will return to a more “normal” as best it can with two little ones lol.

Thanks everyone for your love and support and even though we have all this going on, we still want to hear from you and see you, I just might not be as proactive as I normally am at the moment xoxox

And here he is a few weeks ago xoxox

Transfer done, now the 2ww xox

It’s our last full day in Cape Town and whilst we are looking forward to going home there is a tinge of sadness to leave this beautiful city and the friends we have made along our journey xox

Our egg donor gave us some wonderful eggs and we ended up with 2 fabulous quality embryo’s to transfer and 6 in the freezer 🙂

Transfer was Monday and all went wonderfully and we are now in the 2ww nervously… each step is so very hard, its the decision to use an egg donor or for us to do another cycle after our last miscarriage and negative, it’s the process of seeing if your egg donor is suitable then the cycle begins and are they responding and well and will you get good quality embryo’s that give you the best possible chance xox

Its the egg collection and how many fertilise, then how are they going at each stage and how many embryo’s you have and what quality they are…

Then of course once you’ve done the transfer it’s the waiting, listening to your body and each twinge and symptom brings about “could we be pregnant?”… the hormones play with your body and your mind as does the emotions of the whole journey… your hopeful and you want this so badly but you also know there’s always that risk/chance its not going to be successful….it’s a numbers game… you do everything you can to ensure the best possible outcome, acupuncture, Chinese herbs, endo scratch, hysteroscopy, vitamins, supplements and so the list goes on..

I know many of you reading this will relate either doing your own IVF with your own eggs and doing IVF using an egg donor… it’s a roller coaster of emotions and whilst you try to “not stress” and “not think about it too much” and “relax” you know your mind is there in that place xox

I will do a future post about Cape Town, what to see and do as it is a beautiful city and the people are lovely xox

We have done some further sightseeing, we did Kirstenbosch gardens, Moyo restaurant for Mother’s Day, Simons Town, Bree Street and the famous Mount Nelson Hotel High Tea. Every day we have done a lovely walk along the bay and have had a great time with Liam playing in the playgrounds. We found a great children’s playground along the waterfront that’s fenced and gated with a track for him to ride his tricycle around and a swing, slide and climbing stuff.. he’s loved playing and riding his trike and it’s been wonderful having this family time… Liam’s made many friends, he just loves to people watch and he’s so friendly smiling and chatting to the locals…

We got to catch up with some friends we’ve made here previously and that was lovely, though not enough time and we hope that when we bring Liam back when he’s older we will have more time to spend with them.

I’m nervous to write anymore about our chances of success or if I think we are successful, I plan to do a home pregnancy test probably around day 8 or 9 just before bloods and even just writing that makes my heart skip a beat…

To those that are thinking of going overseas, don’t be afraid of doing this, so many are going and are successful, it’s not as scary as you think, most clinics are as good as Australia/the USA, are reasonably priced and the success rates are very good… and I’m happy to chat to you about it …

I’ve been wearing my Mum’s heart locket here with a photo of her and Dad in it so she’s with us and my lucky elephant from a good friend… and of course all the hope and good wishes from our friends xoxox

Fingers and toes crossed we are pregnant with a sibling for Liam… chat soon, love from us xoxox

We’ve arrived in Cape Town for our new cycle xox

We arrived on Saturday night exhausted and spent Sunday just relaxing and settling in again… After a crazy week at home in the lead up to coming here.. typical of us to have so much going on at any given time hehehe but that’s just who we are xox

Yesterday I had my lining scan and it’s looking great.. our donor also had her scans and everything is looking good, phew!

It was lovely to see Dr Matabese and Danelle at Cape Fertility again, such gorgeous people and they make this journey much easier and nicer xox

We met a couple of lovely recipients in the waiting room, a Mum and Daughter that were actually on our flight on the way over.. she made me cry when she said “I just want to be a Mummy” xox I remember her Mum as she kept smiling and chatting to Liam as he crawled up and down the aisle on the plane… such a small world when you see people that were on your flight at your clinic and find out that they are on the same journey.. I hope she gets her dream and hopefully she will join my groups as I think she’ll be a great support on there xox Of course in the rush I can’t remember if they said their names, argghh I hope they get in touch, I gave them an Egg Donor Angels card so hopefully they will..

The other couple were from the USA and were doing a transfer, I’m hoping they will join my groups as well, this journey is so hard and it’s so nice to have others to chat to that totally get it xox

Tomorrow is egg collection for our donor so everything crossed… today it’s a beautiful day here and I’ve just spent a few hours on Egg Donor Angels so it’s time to do something as a family..

We’ve done most of the tourist things here but are going to do some again especially with Liam.. might go and see the white lions today, Liam will love that.. and we haven’t done that yet..

I will do a post very soon of the things to do in Cape Town and the surrounds for those that are considering coming or are coming here xox

Will do an update tomorrow as soon as we know something xox

After holding our breath for almost 9 months, here he is finally, our Egg Donor Angel conceived little boy is here xox

Hey everyone, sorry it’s taken me so long to post our news and updates 🙁 Life has been a wee bit hectic lately and several times I’ve tried to do this post and thanks to my computer crashing have lost what I had written…. but I’m back and ready to make this happen lol.. xox

So, let me introduce Liam James Heron, our little miracle boy xox, born Friday 26th February at 8.57am at Nepean Hospital weighing 2.93 kilos and measuring 47.5cm.. he’s now 5.44kg and 59.5cm.. and growing lol. Thanks to the awesome and divine team at the University of Sydney Nepean clinic, that’s Maree, Sarah and yes you too Tracy, you all made our pregnancy and the birth so much more special and we can’t wait to go again and have you looking after us.. after that we hope to catch up and stay friends xox

So after a crazy plus year, losing Mum, dealing with settling her affairs and a family member causing major issues and conflict, dealing with our clinic not freezing our embryo’s properly and losing all 11 of them, trying another donor cycle with the devastation of it not working, making the decision to go to South Africa for our egg donor angel and then to find that our donor didn’t respond well and we had one little good quality embryo but it’s ok, that embie was Liam and we are soooo happy he’s here.

We can’t believe he is and whilst every parent has those “first” moments and “wow” moments, ours are just huge and overwhelming..

The pregnancy was good considering my history, I remember my first appointment with Maree, it was hours going through my history lol and then chatting heaps to Tracy about my passion with Egg Donor Angels and just infertility etc. And our first appointment with Sarah this year where we spoke to her about going back to South Africa for a sibling for Liam in November.. she was amazing and said “I understand why” and supported us.. as crazy as it seems..

So you might ask why when we have our little boy.. well we are older parents and we won’t be around for as long as some parents for Liam, our families aren’t big and aren’t getting any younger lol like all of us.. we have amazing friends whose children are going to be like family to Liam and of course my beautiful and amazing cousin’s children will be fabulous cousins to him and guide him along his paths as well.. but we both always wanted more than one but we also want Liam to have a little brother or sister that he has by his side for the rest of his and their lives.. when we aren’t there xox

So we go back to Cape Town in November to go again. Our donor has done another cycle for us… we were discussing doing another one with the donor agency and with the IVF clinic when they contacted us and said that the recipients had pulled out of a cycle with her and would we like to use Shane’s frozen sample/sperm and do the cycle.. we knew we wanted to go again so we thought oh well lets do it now.. so we have 1 fabulous embie, 2 really good ones and 2 not so good in the freezer waiting for us and we feel confident that we will have another successful pregnancy from this.

So my pregnancy, I loved being pregnant even with the high blood pressure scares, the terrible reflux (I already have awful re-flux from chemo but this made it much much worse if possible lol), the swelling and the pain in all my scars and my side from the breast cancer etc. .. but it was all worth it, even the last month where it was hard to sleep and do anything lol…….

So our wonderful team booked us in for a C section on the 26th and as that day rolled around we felt nervous but also surreal that it was real and happening.. I felt sad that he was not going to be safe and warm in my belly but sooo excited to meet him as well.. everything went well, Tracy looked after Shane wonderfully and me prior to delivery and then Liam and she was the first one other than the gorgeous Sarah that delivered him to hold him… and check him out.. it was a weird feeling not being able to feel or move my lower half, gosh I’ve always had empathy for invalids but I can sort of relate to it for a short time anyway.

We all got to cuddle him and have skin to skin time in recovery and then in our room and then Marleen (Shane’s dads partner) and Shane’s Mum came to the hospital and got to meet him as well. As I didn’t know if I would be able to breast feed, the midwives suggested we do a “line feed” for him.. basically using a syringe and a line and feeding him through the tube/line on my nipple.. it worked well and Shane and I managed to prepare and to it on our own and I even did it on my own own lol several times.. it was nice to know that I had that considering everything.. that was done on the breast that didn’t have the cancer in it but had a reduction as it was dare I say cheaper to have it reduced and get a smaller implant than get a larger implant in the cancerous breast.. our government doesn’t consider breast reconstruction after breast cancer necessary, apparently it’s elective.. but that’s another story and passion of mine to change xox

The hospital was great, Liam had some jaundice and had treatment, the worst part of it was the little eye mask he had to wear and he hated it.. but it was necessary.. we went home on the Monday night, Shane had to work that day.. and as we packed up and got into the car with Liam loaded up we had to stop and take a breath.. oh my we both said, he’s real and he’s hear and oh they are letting us out of here to look after him.. yikes.. lol.. but it was fine…

We went back a few days later for a check up and I asked them how to check to see if I had any breast milk, we hand expressed and as some milk came out we all cried for joy… so I am able to do a mix of bottle and breastfeeding to him.. which is great as I get that contact with closeness with him but Shane also gets to bottle feed him and have that closeness as well… we get the best of both worlds.. I’m so pleased as he would have gotten the colostrom as he was on my breast quite a bit with the line feeding and he’s getting nutrients from both options.. win win I say 🙂 xox

And yes I am exhausted, tired, sleep deprived and as I wander up the hallway at all hours of the night in my routine, put my pillows up, get the bib, get my feeding pillow, go the kitchen, prepare and heat up the bottle.. all I can say is oh wow he’s here.. Some nights I manage to unpack the dishwasher, sterilise his bottles and fill them with kettle/boiled water.. some nights, I post and comment on Egg Donor Angels Facebook groups and some nights I fall asleep holding the bottle feeding him.. and just cuddling him..

I’m trying to stay on top of Egg Donor Angels but some days are just filled with Liam and stuff.. though we have been out and about quite a bit, we got to catch up with one of my gorgeous donors from my site in the city, so Liam had his first train ride, we’ve been shopping and to lunch and dinner with friends, we’ve had lots of visitors including my self adopted Dad, friends and another wonderful donor from here as well to name a few.. we’ve been on a car club run in the XY and I’ve started walking with him and Scoutie the dog.. oh and I’ve joined the local new parents group.. and yep already mentioned Egg Donor Angels lol…

So now I’m going to put up lots of photos as I know you all want to see them and I hope to do more posts and especially on our next stage of our journey, the next little one.. yayyyy we can’t wait.. as nervous as we are.. and know we will be holding our breath again for the whole pregnancy.. it’s all worth it..

And maybe I’ll write a book about this whole journey and for awareness.. I’m thinking the title along the lines of “holding our breath waiting for our miracle egg donor baby” or something similar but definitely with “holding our breath”.. as the whole pregnancy, we just couldn’t get too excited as we knew we had to get to the end and see him before we could..

Oh and the name.. well we hadn’t really decided on any, it only took us 3 weeks to finally decide lol.. I think we just couldn’t make that decicsion till we met him and till we knew he was here safe and sound.. and then we were looking at an African name that meant “long awaited” but it wasn’t correct.. and then any African names we looked at were too hard to pronounce for us Aussies.. so we both liked Liam and James so that was it.. though if it’s a boy for the next one, and I keep saying it is, I actually already have a name, not one that we had for Liam, one I have chosen after he was named.. it’s a name from a TV series from my childhood and I always loved it.. just only thought of it recently.. if it’s a girl the next one well.. I had some names picked out years ago but sadly I’ve forgotten them.. but I’m sure 3 weeks after he/she is born we’ll decide lol again..

Thanks for all your support, love and just everything, to those still on the journey let me know what we can do to help you achieve this, to those that have helped us, thank you so much, we love you all xoxox

Dianne, Shane, Liam, Scout the dog, Sooty the Cat and the chickens xoxox

Liam tonka trucks 240316 (5) to use smaller

Liam tonka trucks 240316 (2) to use smaller

D&C all done, yayyyyy

Great news, my d&c has been done, my uterus is clear of all those nasty chemo drugs…. now need to see my reconstruction surgeon on Monday as I am still in lots of pain from the last surgery and I shouldn’t be, hopefully it’s just my body overwhelmed by all the breast cancer surgeries and treatments… 🙁

We are still working towards a late September embie/snow baby transfer…. now I’m getting excited, but a bit nervous as most of us know that it’s not an absolute…
Off to see my wonderful TCM & acupuncturist Kathryn Taylor tomorrow, have been seeing her for years and she’s fabulous, gosh she knows just about everything about infertility. She’s been away for a while so I’ve been seeing her locum but it will be fabulous to catch up with her tomorrow…

Would love to hear how you are going with your journey xoxox

So it’s been a while……sorry :(

Gosh I’m sorry it’s been a while since I have written anything, I hoped to do it regularly but a wee thing called breast cancer just got in my way.. plus all the usual day to day stuff 🙂 I hope to get back into it more soon…

Thank you to everyone for all your support and patience, I have tried where possible to approve ads really quickly and reply really quickly but there have been days where I have just been too sick to do it 🙁 and it’s also been very difficult to do it from a hospital bed.

It’s been a crazy 2 1/2 years, since my diagnosis, I have had a mastectomy, FEC90 chemo x 4 sessions every 3 weeks and that was crap (nausea, vomiting, exhaustion, mouth ulcers, lack of appetite, hair loss and much much more), I was admitted for a week plus to hospital for low white blood cell count and infections after this first chemo, then I had to have a port put in as my veins collapsed in my arm and they couldn’t get a vein for the chemo, I then had another chemo taxol weekly for 12 weeks and that too was crap 🙂 (absolute exhaustion to the point I couldn’t walk or move, I lost my toe nails and my finger nails went extremely brittle, I lost feeling in my toes and fingers and it’s still as bad today which potentially no fix in site.. and again much much more), then I did radiation every weekday for over 4 weeks and that gave me a lovely tan, well actually really really bad sunburn with blisters… I also started a therapy called Herceptin through the port for a year as I was HER positive, I then had my reconstruction and 5 weeks later was rushed to hospital with massive infections and pain and subsequently had to have the implant removed.. then about 4 weeks later the wounds opened up and I had two lovely holes in my side where I could see inside myself :)… so my specialist got me to have them dressed daily for weeks, then sent me to Prince of Wales hospital daily for hyperbaric oxygen treatment to see if that would heal them, that was fun from Faulconbridge in the Blue Mountains on the morning train to Central railway station then by bus to Randwick and back home again in the afternoon… when that wasn’t working after 12 weeks, they did a CT scan to find that I had Osteoradionecrosis, a rare condition where the radiation and infections had caused the tissue and skin and some of my ribs to die… so they I had to have a lat dorsi where they took skin, muscle and tissue from my lower back and pulled it through to my front to give that area circulation and skin to heal…. but wait there’s more 🙂 so then once that was healed I had the expander put in, another surgery, and then they inflated it slowly to stretch the skin out and then finally about 7 weeks ago I had the implant put in… so we are on the home stretch, yay!!

Sorry a boring lot of detail and I am sure I have forgotten lots of extra treatment and stuff…. but that’s the quick snapshot 🙂 of course there were weekly/daily specialist appointments, lots of pain and exhaustion and so much more…

So the great news for me is that my egg donor angel did another cycle whilst I was still going through treatment and we have 11 snow babies on ice waiting for us. I have just had full scans and yes am cancer free, yayyyyy, we are full steam ahead on doing a cycle and a transfer.

This Tuesday I have a d+c to clear my uterus of all those nasty chemo drugs and other chemicals… then my body will heal whilst we go away to Melbourne to visit family and once we return we will do our first transfer, sometime around the end of September.

It’s been a long, exhausting and emotional journey for us and I hope that our dreams will now become reality and this Christmas I can celebrate knowing that the next one, we will have our own family.

So what about you?? I have had lots of wonderful news whilst going through all of this of babies being born through couples meeting their egg donor angels through here and lots of couples and egg donor angels currently going through the process. Some sad news where the cycles haven’t worked or the couples have decided to not continue looking 🙁

I am soooooo very excited, every week this site is growing and more and more wonderful egg donor angels are placing ads or contacting couples offering to help, when I started there were so many of us looking and not many angels…. but now we are getting the word out there about egg donation, infertility we are getting many more successes., thank you to everyone for this and please keep spreading the word xox

I was in Springwood at my local shops the other day and typical me, found any opportunity to talk about egg donation and Egg Donor Angels and infertility, that I was chatting to a shop assistant and she said if she had know years ago after having her children, she would have donated her eggs…

But the most important message I had for her was to be aware of her daughters fertility and as they get into their thirties to get themselves checked out and if they aren’t ready yet or haven’t found the right one yet, freeze their eggs…

When we are young, we are told “don’t get pregnant”, “go on the pill”.

At school, we learn the basics of reproduction but no one teaches you about infertility and its conditions and how age affects it and how our fertility starts to decline after 35…. I am not saying all young women should get pregnant or have babies earlier, everyone is different and each person needs to do this when they are ready… but I want every girl/woman to totally understand how it all works, the issues and even the simple thing of how ovulation works…

Well that’s it from me…I would love to hear how you are going..

xoxox

The Big C!

There’s no easy way to start this post, so here goes… 4 weeks ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Now I have always said cancer scares me but just never thought it would be me. We had just said goodbye to a friend on the 27th January to cancer, she lived with us for over 3 months while renovating her house next door and then within two days of moving into her dream home, she was diagnosed with cancer. It was in her bones, her lungs and her breast and they didn’t know which was the primary and which was the secondary and which one to treat.. sadly she fought it for a while but her body was riddled, goodbye Nellie, you are missed…

We spent the last four months of 2011 doing our donor egg cycle and two transfers where sadly we miscarried. At the same time I had a really bad flu and had a some symptoms that I put down to the IVF drugs. I mentioned the scab on my nipple to my GP at the appointment I had with her re my flu and first miscarriage and she said to come back…. I went back in December about it and another issue and she looked at it, said “hhmmm, it’s probably the IVF drugs” and dismissed it. In the meantime I had googled “scab on nipple” and nothing came up, discharge, leaking etc came up but not this one.. so I thought it must be the hormones and trusted my GP. About 6 weeks ago I felt a huge lump in my breast and immediately booked into my GP to get it checked out. She said let’s do an ultrasound, I said what about a mammogram, she ummed and erred and then did the request. On the day of the scans, I knew they had found something being a Friday I had to wait all weekend, and of course when my GP was calling me Monday morning for an appointment to discuss the scans/results I knew that it was bad news. She said it appears to be DCIS, which was a better one to have…. sadly when we got to meet with our cancer surgeon 10 days later it was worse than that. It was high grade DCIS and invasive breast cancer and probably in my lymph nodes.

So here I am at 1am in the morning with only 9 hours before they operate and do a mastectomy on my right breast and remove all my lymph nodes. Sadly I say a fond farewell to a part of me that makes me I guess a woman but the learning I have is that it’s not me, what’s inside is me. I will start chemo in about 4 weeks for a few months or more where I will lose all my hair and probably grieve again, silly but it’s part of the process….. and then radiation most likely. So this speed hump is putting a pause on our dream of a family but it will not stop us from achieving that dream…

So I now have some work to do, hopefully get some sleep and then up at 6am to get ready for another journey in my life… will post again soon with an update…

Cherish your dreams and make them a reality… xox

Ok… Deeep Breaths

Woke up this morning with a brighter outlook after yesterday’s appointment.

We saw our IVF Dr and after this round of blood tests and ultrasound, he say’s there’s nothing that should stop us from having a successful pregnancy, yay!! Some minor immunity issues but when we do our next cycle, he will give me something to help that.

I still have to do a uterus biopsy, was meant to do it yesterday but stopped my progesterone pessaries last week as they came from a different compounding chemist and I had a reaction to them 🙁

He said my donor has good ovarian reserve for her age, looks like she got my share for the family 🙂

So it’s looking like sometime in March, my donor has a few commitments over the next month or so and we need to get everything sorted at the clinic as well as my biopsy to cover all our bases.

Since the last miscarriage, I stopped talking about having children, it was just too hard and even if I did, it wasn’t “when we have children” or “our children/child” it was “if”. Last night I felt I could have the dream again, might take a few more times to get there but…..

Re this website, I am getting some great feedback thank you xo And thank you to those of you that have advertised and that have enquired about being an egg donor angel xo

As some of you know or have read, I used to charge a small fee to advertise on the site but I have stopped that as I only had a few people willing to pay and in turn I spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars on advertising for a donor for them. As much as I am passionate about this, I can’t afford this kind of money, sorry 🙁
… so I dropped the charge on my site and now I just promote the site and the potential recipients where I can, the only cost to me is my time and that I am not earning money from my business when doing it, if that makes sense?!
In doing this, the potential organic egg donor angels to the site has reduced and the site is mainly attracting the ones actively searching for this.

I would love your feedback on the site and in particular costs, would you prefer it to be free or would you consider paying a fee to advertise on this site, where we can then pay for advertising for your search for your egg donor angel?

I personally in my own search for our egg donor angel paid for ads in many places. The one thing I wanted was a quick and immediate response and something that was quick and relatively easy. I know we all have busy lives and for some of us it’s harder to get online, scouring the internet and sites posting and responding to forums and conversations. While this approach is free and offers some fantastic support networks however it is also very time-consuming. Yes we are focused on realising our dream of having a family but sadly life must go on with or without this dream and importantly we need incomes to pay for the dream as well.

I would love your feedback on this, either comment on this here, or drop me a line at diannej@eggdonorangels.com.au

Here’s to 2012 being the year of realising the family dream for any of us on that journey xox

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Another Christmas without our own family to share it with… when does this heartache stop…

Sorry to start the post on a downer but I know many of you will know these emotions and feelings……

Sadly we had another miscarriage, this time we knew by the second blood test, my HCG levels dropped signficantly so I stopped the meds straight away. The great news is my donor is going again for us but it’s going to be a few months due to personal commitments and we have moved to another clinic. I will do a separate post on this later as finding and researching a clinic is really important and knowledge is powerful in this emotional process.

Since then I have done blood tests and further ultrasounds to help us with the miscarriages before we go again. I knew I had a condition called Adenomyosis but yesterdays ultrasound confirmed it which is not good as mine seems quite bad. Now I am dreading next weeks appointment with the Dr as I suspect he is going to say it’s not good news and our chances are slim or none of holding a baby…. fingers crossed that he has some ideas on how to manage or help it… unfortunately the condition is not fixable 🙁 Normally they recommend a hysterectomy!!

So another Christmas and we still don’t have our dream. How do I feel?? Unbelievably sad but then grateful for what I do have but then overwhelmed by the sadness… How do you turn the corner on this, is it acceptance of your fate and move on with your life, do I keep trying until there is no hope at all?? My TCM lady said to me recently it will happen for me as I am the most determined person she knows in regard to this, however now I am not so sure. Even when the Dr told me 6 years ago things were not good and even when we tried and tried and I came to terms with an egg donor, I was still determined to realise the dream… now I am not so sure it can be realised.

My fear is that while I am putting this in writing, many of you going through the same thing are going to worry that this will be your fate, please don’t xox. As many of you know this is part of the process and I am documenting this as its normal and we need to know that. Surprisingly I am quite a shy and private person and this post is especially hard as it’s not like me to admit some defeat, give in or let it get to me but I feel it’s important as if I am going through this, then many of you have, will go or are going through this and we need to support each other.

The hardest part is to pull myself out of it, normally I am really good at this, like any of us, you have a sad or emotional day and then you wake up the next day, smile and get on with it. This time it’s a bit harder, I bounce back for a day or week and then I have another “ho hum” day….. It may not help that I am on the hormones as the Dr is doing a uterus biopsy next week as part of his investigation into the miscarriages.

So what next for me.. well I need to pull myself out of this, I need to get to next weeks appointment and hear what he says and take it from there. Will keep you updated and please talk to me about this if you want to either through email or here on our Facebook page….

xox

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