egg donor Archives - Egg Donor Angels

To tell or not to tell xox

This is a really emotional topic for many people and in my Facebook support groups, it often brings about a lot of discussion and sadly it doesn’t always end well with many members saying things they may not mean and may regret 🙁

My boys know their story, as a passionate advocate for egg donation and my cause Egg Donor Angels, I tell and share their story all the time and they know I spend many hours helping others with their journey xox

My belief has always been to tell, agree or disagree. I feel it’s in the best interests of the child going forwards. This is the family we worked so hard to get I think they deserve to know our “journey” to get them and they need to know how much they were wanted!

So I’ve always told the boys our story, our four trips to Cape Town to have them.. I prefer to sit down with them and tell them about it, show photos of our trips, show the photos of their donors and weave it into the fabric of their lives… to me this helps them to understand their story… I did read them the simple rhyming books when they were little but now they are 4 and 6 I find it’s better to talk about our journey to have them and show them their story.

The hardest part about donor conception is the “letting go of our own fertility and grieving” and sometimes I feel that many have not done this when not wanting to “tell their story”

Liam, the 6yo already asks interesting questions about babies and life, last night it was “did you choose if you were having a boy or a girl?” What I love is spending the time answering these questions and as crazy as this sounds telling them how it works as best I can before their eyes glaze over! So I explained how the sperm swims to the egg and one sperm will penetrate the egg and that sperm determines if the baby is a boy or a girl… I did a quiet sigh of relief when he didn’t ask how the sperm got to the egg.. of course I could explain the IVF version rather than the more intimate version 🙂

Everyone knows my boys are donor conceived and whilst I share our story with anyone that will listen, I know they will know that their story is there to help others know there is hope and to navigate infertility xox

I know for me and for many of us there have been or will be some comments made where we will feel judged, for example being called the grandparent or being told your too old and won’t live to see your children get older… I always smile, correct t them that I’m the mother and then I even go on to tell our story, to me it’s always about awareness… and educating people xox

I know our children will say things when they are angry or don’t get their own way that will hurt us right to the core of our heart and soul.. I fear they will say things like “you’re not my mother/father/parent”, “you couldn’t have your own children” or that the donor is their parent… deep breaths my friends, this is where we need to be strong again and resilient…. you’ve been strong before you can do this! I would sit them down when they are open to listening and say how much that hurt you and that you are their mother/parent/father and explain why you are, that it’s not just about “genetics” that its about love and creating a family that comes in all shapes and sizes. Repeat your story, maybe it’s time to tell more detail about the heartbreak you’ve endured to have them, miscarriages, loss etc. as hard as that is xox If needed I strongly suggest counselling, but find someone who understands IVF and donor conception. (I do plan to put together a list of IVF counsellors together soon)

Telling your child/children, family and friends about your IVF and donor conception journey is important for your child’s/children’s ongoing trust and knowledge about who they are and where they came from… Agree or disagree, sadly it’s not about our emotions and our grief xox

Dianne – founder of Egg Donor Angels

April 16, 2022

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Merry Christmas from all of us xox

So it’s been a crazy year with me being so sick last year with the pregnancy (high blood pressure and pre-eclampsia), then having Owen 6 weeks preemie, then weeks in the NICU with him coming home in January but with regular visits to the NICU till he gained enough weight… then lots of sickness for all of us and then I was diagnosed with a rare auto immune disease called Scleroderma… and just being busy with two young children 🙂

It’s wonderful that we can celebrate this Christmas as a family and at home. I still pinch myself that we have our gorgeous boys, what a journey we’ve been through but we made it. Our boys are so sweet, most of the time hehehe. Liam does the sweetest things like tucking Daddy in at night when he’s on a super early shift and has gone to sleep before the boys do but then he will push Owen away from trying to play with his toys… and then Liam will just come and give me the biggest hug whilst I’m doing something awwwwww. Owen is crawling with a mission lol… He is always on the move and looking for mischief and has just started this week to give hugs and blow kisses as well as raspberries… won’t be long and he’ll be walking. We celebrated Owen’s 1st Birthday on the 19th, it was a fabulous day though we can’t believe our tiny little baby has grown so much. We love our boys to the moon and back and to the stars, they are going to be the best of friends and yes with some fights..

I thought we’d have more time once Owen was born to do things and see people but with sickness, hospital visits, Shane’s roster/shifts and just life we just haven’t been able to do as much or catch up, sorry xox

… and I know I haven’t had as much time for Egg Donor Angels as I normally have or would like, sorry xox.

Hopefully this coming year will be less crazy hehehe xox

For those of you that have lost loved ones (family, friends and pets) this year or prior years but still grieving, hugs and love from us, Christmas is always hard as we miss them and its a time you would especially share with them xox

My Mum’s last visit to Sydney and before she got really sick 🙁

I miss my Mum, this year will be the 3rd Christmas without her and sadly my Dad passed away when I was a teenager…

Its funny how things remind you of what you were going through at that time, I remember that dress, we were still trying IVF with my eggs but we also at that time had a friends daughter offer to be our egg donor, health issues sadly prevented her from helping us which whilst we were disappointed we totally understood xox.

To those going through IVF whether with your own eggs or with an egg donor, hugs and love to you xox This emotional roller coaster ride is hard and often with many set backs and heartbreak along the way. We hope you get what you dreaming of xox

And remember I’m here to chat to, sometimes I just don’t get to my emails but if you need me I’m just a phone call away xox

We have lots of Facebook support groups with wonderful and amazing members to help you along the way xox

Egg donor angels recipients only

Egg donor angels international donor options

Egg donor angels Australia

Egg donor angels NZ

Egg donor angels US

Egg donor angels UK

Egg donor angels Canada

Egg donor angels Parents of donor conceived children

Egg donor angels Parents of South African donor conceived children

Egg donor angels parents of OE and ED children

Egg donor angels donors only support group

Egg Donor angels single women seeking egg, sperm and embyro donation

and the Facebook page “egg donor angels”

These groups are very supportive and a huge thank you to my amazing friends that help me admin the groups; Katherine, Natalie, Lauren and Christine, love you xox I couldn’t have kept Angels going the past 2 years without your help, thank you so much xox

To all our friends and family, we send our love this Christmas, thanks for your love and support and we hope you have an amazing day with the people you love xox

And we look forward to seeing you very soon xox

Here’s our Christmas photo shoot with the gorgeous and talented Elvia.

love Dianne, Shane, Liam and Owen xox

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what a year it’s been xox

It’s been a crazy year for us, with having Owen preemie on the 19th December last year ….. three or so weeks in the NICU with 2 or 3 visits a day. Sometimes we’d drive down and home for each one, sometimes we’d stay around Penrith and go back…

When we got to take him home, it was wonderful but full on xox Owen struggled with his feeds and settling down and had silent reflux… so most feeds backed into each other with Mummy and sometimes Daddy trying to settle him between them.. so not much sleep or down time for Mummy along with Liam being an active 2-year-old as well…

Then we’ve just been constantly sick 🙁 especially me, flu’s, colds, bronchitis… and then I got diagnosed with an auto immune disease which explains some of the symptoms I’ve had for many years and why I’ve always had so much sickness.

To be honest it’s been tough… I don’t mean or want to complain but this is more about explaining why we’ve been so reclusive lol, why I’ve been slow to respond to emails and messages, why I haven’t been able to post as much on my Facebook groups or blog but I also want to share so others can know they are not alone..

With the constant sickness, I’ve just struggled and as most will attest to having a baby with a toddler is demanding and exhausting. I don’t know how I’ve done it to be honest, it seems a blur now hehehe.. I’m not sure how I’ve gotten up during the night and looked after Owen whilst so sick and tired and then often Liam would need me as well then the daytime, running a house, our investments, renovations to our house, Egg Donor Angels, setting up a SMSF along with the day-to-day stuff….

And every time I started to feel a wee bit better, I’d get knocked down again with another illness and with my auto immune disease I just seem to take so much longer to get better and then of course the boys would get it too..

And then a few weeks ago Liam got attacked by a local cat and it sliced his eyelid open… so off to our gp we went and then off to Westmead Children’s hospital that evening and sat among the poor sick children only for Liam to get the gastro days later and then Shane, Owen and finally me…

The good news is we’re on the mend yayyyy, I’ve started my medications for the auto immune disease and whilst life is still crazy busy for me/us, I’m hoping I will have a wee bit more time to spare lol…

Many I know have had a baby with a toddler and we all say “oh my” it’s exhausting and you don’t get much time…

…but what I want to let everyone know is that in regard to Egg Donor Angels, I am here for you and if you need to talk to me, email me, PM me or just call me on my mobile…. I may not answer if things are crazy with the boys but keep trying or txt me so I know to call you back when I can… xox

and any friends/family reading this we hope to have more time to catch up now… we’ve missed this xox

Owen came home and he’s put on weight…

On Sunday the 7th of January, a very hot day in Penrith, the Dr’s approved us to bring Owen home, yayyyyy

They loved the written note on Owen’s crib asking if he could, thanks to one of the fabulous NICU nurses for writing it xox

We were so happy to take him home but he’s still so tiny and hardly fits in his capsule, we’ve got the straps on the smallest setting! Of course nervous as well.

It was nice not to be going to the hospital several times a day but then came the 3 hourly feeds 🙂 all worth it though xox

We had to go back a few times every couple of days to get him weighed and checked and each time he put on weight, though the first weigh in only a little but he’s now 2.10kg or probably more as that was at the last weigh in.

Liam is great with him, really gentle most of the time and gives him kisses, too cute! Though he gets boisterous and not so gentle with Owen or with us.. but he’s very good and at night when we put him to bed he blows Owen a kiss goodnight in his bassinet… he melts my heart xox

We’ve not done much with him home, I’m still sore and exhausted and my blood pressure is still playing up a bit, more to do with now not being pregnant and getting the medications right and in line with my bp coming down and righting itself.. some huge headaches with this ride but hopefully the high bp was pregnancy related and will right itself soon.

Owen is growing and we did introduce him to Shane’s Nan the other day, she’s 98 and doing well considering and she got to cuddle him lots.

The great team that helped us to get our two boys xox

(photo of Dr Matabese from Cape Fertility to come :))

Owen and Dr Merchant (our local GP, he’s amazing)

Sarah and me (Sarah was our reg Ob for Liam and delivered him for us and now works for Dr Pardey, she’s gorgeous xox)

and here’s the gorgeous Maree, she was our reg Ob with Liam’s pregnancy for the most part and she with Dr Pardey delivered Owen, and is also amazing xox

Cheryl at Balance Medical, did all my blood tests and has been along for the ride xox

The lovely Simone and Cheryl at Balance xox

Well I think that’s our family complete for us, though we might consider adoption in a few years or maybe fostering… I don’t think i can put any of us or our team through another pregnancy, though I did give Dr Pardey, Maree and Sarah a scare by saying I wanted to be a surrogate, and yes I’d love to do this but again I can’t put my family through another complicated pregnancy. Whilst another pregnancy might be much easier like it was with Liam there’s no guarantee so that’s it for us xox

We are considering on-donating our embryo’s in Cape Town at some point, we just need to get through the next year or so and we’ll start this process xox

So as soon as I finish breast feeding Owen, I’ll be back to see the lovely Prof Kefford to do a check up and probably start Tamoxifen for a few years to keep that big C away…

Gosh I can’t believe we’ve done it, phew and yayyyyy it’s a bit surreal still and after so many years and so much heartache it does seem like a dream.

Now to focus on our boys and helping others achieve this…. thanks again for everyone’s support and help along the way and we hope we can continue to help others to achieve their dream.

Lots of love Dianne, Shane, Liam and Owen xoxox

Happy New Year, welcome 2018 and blissful happiness xox

Gosh, what an crazy and amazing year 2017 was… we can’t believe that we’ve welcomed in the New Year with our precious boy Owen.

To go to sleep last night and wake up in a New Year without it being tinged with sadness as our dreams have come true is surreal. Most years we’ve welcomed the year in with hope and sadness except for the year that we had Liam and this year with Owen.

There’s always some sadness with loved ones not here, for me my Mum and Scout xox I wish my Mum could see our little family but I know wherever she is, she’ll be so happy for us. I know most of you grieve for someone at Christmas and New Year, huge hugs and love to you.. it’s a time for spending time with loved ones and when some are missing it’s hard xox

We have so much to be grateful for but as you all know we’ve spent many years wanting a family and then a sibling for Liam. We’ve had a lot of speed humps in our life together, Shane trying to find his daughter, my lying, cheating ex husband including three years of property settlement with a huge emotional and financial toll all because he continued to lie about our financial situation and his stupid solicitor failed to read the facts I kept sending them and so much more, infertility diagnosis/early menopause and years of IVF, breast cancer diagnosis with massive treatment and huge complications, our search for our egg donor angels, miscarriages, the loss of our 11 embryo’s, Mum’s breast and lung cancer and dementia and sadly her decline and passing… and much much more…

We feel complete and whilst I’d love to have another baby and to be a surrogate for someone else, we just can’t put my body through another pregnancy and I can’t put my three boys through it.. and I need to be here for them too xox

We are blessed and grateful for what we have xox

We couldn’t have done this without our friends and family and their love and support, especially through the tough times, you’ve been amazing and we love and thank you xoxox

Sorry that we’ve not been in touch as much and spent as much time recently but we’ll make up for it this year xox

When I started Egg Donor Angels in 2008 I had a dream to help others along this journey as we’d just started it and I’d realised were few resources available but were so needed. Many years later Egg Donor Angels has grown so much with many Facebook support groups with people from all over the world and hundreds of babies born from local and overseas donations. My payment and joy is knowing that I’ve provided a support network for those on the journey and when I get an email, message, text message, phone call saying that they have achieved their dream, it’s all worth it xox

All the people in my groups also make them the amazing space that they are, they provide wonderful support and friendship to others along the journey and to my fabulous admins Katherine, Natalie, Lauren and Christine, thank you, I love you and couldn’t have gotten through this pregnancy without your love, help and support xox

I wish I could wave that magic wand and help everyone to achieve their dream xox

We hope that 2018 will be the year for many of you and your family in achieving your dreams and if there’s anything we can do to help, please let us know.

An update on Owen;, our little tiger has moved to bay 4, the last bay before being able to go home, yayyy. He’s gaining weight and feeding well. He just needs to take a bottle and/or breast feed at every feed and consistently gain weight to go home. We’re now doing 3 trips a day to the Penrith/Nepean NICU, 7am, 1pm and 7pm so we’re a bit off the grid till he comes home, hopefully soon 🙂 xox

So Happy New Year to all our family and friends, may 2018 be a wonderful year for you and your loved ones, lots of love Dianne, Shane, Liam and Owen xoxox

Our Christmas Present arrived :) xox Merry Christmas everyone xox

Wow, what a week it’s been, my last post on Monday the 18th where it was a day by day wait to see what would happen.

On the Tuesday they were doing the ECG on the baby and they were concerned that he wasn’t moving enough and with my high blood pressure and pre-eclampsia, so they decided to move me to the public hospital that afternoon in preparation for delivering him sooner than later.

They found me a bed in the antenatal ward and we were told they were considering delivering him that night or the next day as they were worried about him and the lack of movement. They then decided to let him “cook” for a few more days so I sent Shane home and I started to settle in to my new bed whilst they monitored bubs again…. but as they did his heart rate dropped significantly twice for short periods and then for a long period which resulted in me ringing Shane and telling him he had an hour to get back to the hospital as we were doing an emergency C section, tonight our little boy was going to be delivered…

Within an hour I was prepped and we were ready to go.. the team were amazing getting me ready and making it all happen and I gave Dr Pardey a scare mentioning that I had been considering being a surrogate… he said he and my hypertension specialist Dr Fischer would have a heart attack if I did… I had very seriously considered this before this pregnancy but with the complications we’ve had I couldn’t put myself, my family and the recipients through the stress and the risk of any issues so sadly this isn’t an option for me to help now 🙁

The team at Nepean are amazing and as I’ve mentioned before obstetricians; Dr Maree Wallwark and Dr Sarah Rixton were fabulous with our pregnancy with Liam as was our awesome Midwife Tracey xox Whilst they were prepping me Dr Pardey rang Maree to tell her they were doing our emergency C section (Sarah was away so unable to attend this one but she delivered Liam xox) and as they were doing my injection into my back Maree appeared in front of me to be part of this bubs delivery… I cried and hugged her quickly before the injection took hold.. 🙂 and cry now that she made it to this bubs arrival xox

It all just happened so quickly then, next thing we know he’s out, a quick look for us and then he was whisked off to be checked and then Daddy and bubs went off to NICU whilst I spent hours in recovery trying to get my blood pressure under control.

So on Tuesday 19th December at 9.33pm our little boy arrived, a wee bit early but healthy and safe xox

In the NICU you can visit the baby anytime you want but you can only hold and cuddle the baby at what they call their care times, which are every 6 hours. Our times were 10am, 4pm, 10pm and 4am, so whilst I was still in hospital I did all 4 times to spend as much time with him as I could. He started in the humidicrib and on Saturday was moved to a cot and has moved a bay along, so he’s doing well and he’s gaining weight. We’re not sure when he’ll be home, the criteria for a baby to go home is to be consistently gaining weight and to be able to feed.

I was discharged on Friday from the hospital and whilst so happy to be going home and to be at home with Shane and Liam it was very sad for all three of us to drive out of the hospital without bubs and to leave him behind. But he’s in good hands and we’re visiting him every day doing the 10am and the 4pm visits. We’d do more but I can’t drive so it’s a lot on Shane to drive to Penrith and back twice a day with only a few hours break between and we have to consider Liam xox

I’m sorry I haven’t posted a full update yet, our focus has been on bubs, Liam and my slow and painful recovery but when I woke up in pain the wee hours this morning I wanted to get up and update you all and to wish you all a very Merry Christmas xox

We want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas xox, cherish and enjoy the day with family and friends. The day is about these moments in life and I know for many the day is tinged with sadness; loved ones no longer with us, dreams not yet fulfilled and losses xox

Thanks to everyone for your support this year xox, it’s been a crazy 12 plus months for us and our focus lately has been on bubs health and my health. We’re sorry we haven’t seen many friends and family during this time and have been out of touch a bit but we are here for you and we look forward to making up for it in 2018 xox

May 2018 be everything you dream of and whilst many of us miss loved ones, we can cherish the memories and hope that new memories can help with the grief and loss xox And if there’s anything we can do to help you achieve your dreams, let us know.

Love from Dianne, Shane, Liam and Owen xox

My first bath

So we are 24 plus weeks and are still super nervous xox

Hey everyone xoxox

wow what a roller coaster ride this has been… transfer was done, we got a positive home pregnancy test and then a positive blood HCG test result but as many of you would know having been through this, this is on the start of the many milestones that you have to pass until that little baby is in your arms xox

Our HCG levels continued to rise which was great but on the June Monday long weekend public holiday and I started to bleed… at first it was a bit then within a few hours I was bleeding with large clots and almost non stop, it was just so awful and scary (sorry for the too much information) absolutely terrified and thinking we were losing the baby I said to Shane we need to go to the hospital…

We went to Katoomba hospital as we felt on a public holiday it would be quieter than Nepean… and it was… thank goodness they put us in a room where I continued to bleed and every time I went to the toilet I was petrified our little one was lost to us (again sorry for the TMI 🙂 xox)

We were beyond terrified, the bleeding and clots continued and we were sure this was it, we’d miscarried.. as were the hospital team. The on call Ob assessed me and offered us to do a currette but Shane and I wanted to make sure we had lost the baby before we took any action. I asked if they could do an ultrasound at almost 6 weeks, surely they would know if the little one was still there but they don’t have a full time/permanent ultrasound technician or one on call… the Ob suggested we do bloods and compare with the past weeks HCG levels and we totally agreed… so we waited whilst these came back and they admitted me as a patient as they were concerned about my blood loss and thought they would be doing surgery. I was on nil by mouth in preparation for surgery and when the bloods came back with a rise in HCG levels, we had no definitive answer, if only we could do an ultrasound! They put me in maternity in a room and kept me nil by mouth as they were still concerned about my blood loss and I spent a stressful night there with very little sleep researching online the option of going back to Cape Town as we have good quality embryo’s in the freezer there…

They suggested to do bloods the next morning and see if there was another rise if they didn’t have to do emergency surgery and we would go from there… I stopped bleeding that night but I felt totally awful, stressed, sick and exhausted..

Finally mid morning they took blood and hours later we got the results back.. oh my goodness they had risen again.. not hugely but enough to say the pregnancy was still viable.. though again if only we could do an ultrasound 🙂

They said i’d lost a lot of blood and needed to be on strict rest as i’d potentially had a subchorionic hematoma and they wanted me to stay another night as they feared if I went home I wouldn’t rest and they wanted to monitor me still. And knowing me whilst the pregnancy was so precious, I’m not good at sitting still and not doing anything hehehe.

So another sleepless night there waiting for the ultrasound the next morning.. yes they do them Monday’s, Wednesdays and Fridays but not on public holidays and no one on call.. argghhhhhh it was awful and all we wanted was an answer.

Finally they wheeled me down to the ultrasound and the whole room was filled with a nervous energy… he tried to do an external scan but couldn’t see anything, that stressed me more, as often they can see something at that stage externally.. so he did an internal, we all held our breaths and with great surprise and relief he announced I’ve got a heartbeat… I had to ask him to repeat it.. I think I took my first real breath for days… I think everyone in the room took a breath and then had tears, I knew that this was great but it was just one hurdle to overcome of many…

The heartbeat was good and he confirmed there was a subchorionic hematoma … I can’t believe our little one held on through all of that… we went back to the room and the Ob was so happy he came and saw us straight away but with very strict instructions.. ‘you must rest, no heavy lifting, no lifting at all for weeks, take it easy’ etc. I didn’t care, this baby is too precious for us and I’d do anything to ensure bubs was safe…

So home we went happy but still super nervous as we could still lose the baby… now unusually for me I pretty much obeyed the Ob and Shane.. but I knew I had to, I was at too much risk of losing the baby not to. Any woman/couple who have had a bleed in the pregnancy will know and understand the fear of seeing any blood, it almost consumes you and you stop breathing at those moments when you expect to see blood and breath again when there’s none…

I rested and I’ve been super quiet as I’ve had no choice… of course this pregnancy has been riddled with humps, Liam’s pregnancy was really quite easy when we expected it not to be and this one we thought would be ok, lol, never assume I say… hehehe

I’ve had amazing support, with Egg Donor Angels just growing and growing, I asked some lovely and awesome women to admin the groups with one that had already been helping me for years and they have been fabulous and I can’t thank them enough, Katherine, Natalie, Lauren, Kasey and Christine, love you girls xox This has helped me to somewhat stay on top of the many emails, phone calls, advertisements, private messages and Facebook page updates, thank goodness.

I had terrible “all day sickness” again with this pregnancy and awful hives from the medications, thankfully this stopped by about week 14ish.. but thanks to my breast cancer chemo my reflux becomes horrendous during pregnancy, so that’s been fun but my amazing GP Dr Merchant has helped with some safe medication for it, not a cure but a huge help.

We were going through the high risk pregnancy unit at Nepean originally but upon advice from my GP we moved to Dr Pardy and we are super excited that his team expands next year with my two favorite obstetricians just in time for this bubs arrival, wooohoooooo love these two xoxox pity our previous awesome and gorgeous midwife can’t be there as well, but you never know, I know she’ll be visiting us though xoxox

I had a “discharge” about 6 weeks ago where I was told to present at Nepean emergency where Liam and I spent the day waiting and nervous… what they did diagnose was that I had really high blood pressure and when I went to see the Ob for the next few visits this was highlighted and eventually I was put on medication to try and bring it down. Our fabulous GP has been also monitoring this closely as well thank goodness and after increasing my medication, it’s coming down but again I’m on strict rest argghhhhh … after moving GP’s due to my previous GP’s lack of duty of care in diagnosing my breast cancer earlier, we found our awesome GP :).

The lovely blood pressure medication makes me feel exhausted and of course being pregnant and running after a very active 19 month old along with the day to day life and Egg Donor Angels and other projects, I’m not surprised lol.. not whinging we wanted this so much but I have to say it’s been rather tough and there are days that I’m not sure how I got through them 🙂

We’ve also had some concerns with bubs, he’s (yes that’s right it’s a boy :)) a bit small for his age/gestation, he’s possibly got a hole in his heart, possibly got a genetic issue (low risk) and my amniotic fluid is low… so we’ve had quite a few scans and need to do more to monitor all of this and more Dr’s and specialists appointments… we’ll be glad when he’s here safe and sound xox

So that’s where we’re at, I started writing this post around the 12 week mark and I’ve gone back to it a few times only to not finish it, today I was determined to finish it as I know many of you are wondering how it’s all going and why I’ve been so quiet xox

I’m so sorry if I’ve missed Birthday’s, emails, messages, calls etc. I’m so sorry but I’ve truly been taking it easy so we don’t lose this baby and with all the issues.. and the usual exhaustion now exacerbated by the pregnancy, I have been a bit quiet, I hope you’ll forgive me and understand and once bubs is here and we’ve settled in things will return to a more “normal” as best it can with two little ones lol.

Thanks everyone for your love and support and even though we have all this going on, we still want to hear from you and see you, I just might not be as proactive as I normally am at the moment xoxox

And here he is a few weeks ago xoxox

We’ve arrived in Cape Town for our new cycle xox

We arrived on Saturday night exhausted and spent Sunday just relaxing and settling in again… After a crazy week at home in the lead up to coming here.. typical of us to have so much going on at any given time hehehe but that’s just who we are xox

Yesterday I had my lining scan and it’s looking great.. our donor also had her scans and everything is looking good, phew!

It was lovely to see Dr Matabese and Danelle at Cape Fertility again, such gorgeous people and they make this journey much easier and nicer xox

We met a couple of lovely recipients in the waiting room, a Mum and Daughter that were actually on our flight on the way over.. she made me cry when she said “I just want to be a Mummy” xox I remember her Mum as she kept smiling and chatting to Liam as he crawled up and down the aisle on the plane… such a small world when you see people that were on your flight at your clinic and find out that they are on the same journey.. I hope she gets her dream and hopefully she will join my groups as I think she’ll be a great support on there xox Of course in the rush I can’t remember if they said their names, argghh I hope they get in touch, I gave them an Egg Donor Angels card so hopefully they will..

The other couple were from the USA and were doing a transfer, I’m hoping they will join my groups as well, this journey is so hard and it’s so nice to have others to chat to that totally get it xox

Tomorrow is egg collection for our donor so everything crossed… today it’s a beautiful day here and I’ve just spent a few hours on Egg Donor Angels so it’s time to do something as a family..

We’ve done most of the tourist things here but are going to do some again especially with Liam.. might go and see the white lions today, Liam will love that.. and we haven’t done that yet..

I will do a post very soon of the things to do in Cape Town and the surrounds for those that are considering coming or are coming here xox

Will do an update tomorrow as soon as we know something xox

After holding our breath for almost 9 months, here he is finally, our Egg Donor Angel conceived little boy is here xox

Hey everyone, sorry it’s taken me so long to post our news and updates 🙁 Life has been a wee bit hectic lately and several times I’ve tried to do this post and thanks to my computer crashing have lost what I had written…. but I’m back and ready to make this happen lol.. xox

So, let me introduce Liam James Heron, our little miracle boy xox, born Friday 26th February at 8.57am at Nepean Hospital weighing 2.93 kilos and measuring 47.5cm.. he’s now 5.44kg and 59.5cm.. and growing lol. Thanks to the awesome and divine team at the University of Sydney Nepean clinic, that’s Maree, Sarah and yes you too Tracy, you all made our pregnancy and the birth so much more special and we can’t wait to go again and have you looking after us.. after that we hope to catch up and stay friends xox

So after a crazy plus year, losing Mum, dealing with settling her affairs and a family member causing major issues and conflict, dealing with our clinic not freezing our embryo’s properly and losing all 11 of them, trying another donor cycle with the devastation of it not working, making the decision to go to South Africa for our egg donor angel and then to find that our donor didn’t respond well and we had one little good quality embryo but it’s ok, that embie was Liam and we are soooo happy he’s here.

We can’t believe he is and whilst every parent has those “first” moments and “wow” moments, ours are just huge and overwhelming..

The pregnancy was good considering my history, I remember my first appointment with Maree, it was hours going through my history lol and then chatting heaps to Tracy about my passion with Egg Donor Angels and just infertility etc. And our first appointment with Sarah this year where we spoke to her about going back to South Africa for a sibling for Liam in November.. she was amazing and said “I understand why” and supported us.. as crazy as it seems..

So you might ask why when we have our little boy.. well we are older parents and we won’t be around for as long as some parents for Liam, our families aren’t big and aren’t getting any younger lol like all of us.. we have amazing friends whose children are going to be like family to Liam and of course my beautiful and amazing cousin’s children will be fabulous cousins to him and guide him along his paths as well.. but we both always wanted more than one but we also want Liam to have a little brother or sister that he has by his side for the rest of his and their lives.. when we aren’t there xox

So we go back to Cape Town in November to go again. Our donor has done another cycle for us… we were discussing doing another one with the donor agency and with the IVF clinic when they contacted us and said that the recipients had pulled out of a cycle with her and would we like to use Shane’s frozen sample/sperm and do the cycle.. we knew we wanted to go again so we thought oh well lets do it now.. so we have 1 fabulous embie, 2 really good ones and 2 not so good in the freezer waiting for us and we feel confident that we will have another successful pregnancy from this.

So my pregnancy, I loved being pregnant even with the high blood pressure scares, the terrible reflux (I already have awful re-flux from chemo but this made it much much worse if possible lol), the swelling and the pain in all my scars and my side from the breast cancer etc. .. but it was all worth it, even the last month where it was hard to sleep and do anything lol…….

So our wonderful team booked us in for a C section on the 26th and as that day rolled around we felt nervous but also surreal that it was real and happening.. I felt sad that he was not going to be safe and warm in my belly but sooo excited to meet him as well.. everything went well, Tracy looked after Shane wonderfully and me prior to delivery and then Liam and she was the first one other than the gorgeous Sarah that delivered him to hold him… and check him out.. it was a weird feeling not being able to feel or move my lower half, gosh I’ve always had empathy for invalids but I can sort of relate to it for a short time anyway.

We all got to cuddle him and have skin to skin time in recovery and then in our room and then Marleen (Shane’s dads partner) and Shane’s Mum came to the hospital and got to meet him as well. As I didn’t know if I would be able to breast feed, the midwives suggested we do a “line feed” for him.. basically using a syringe and a line and feeding him through the tube/line on my nipple.. it worked well and Shane and I managed to prepare and to it on our own and I even did it on my own own lol several times.. it was nice to know that I had that considering everything.. that was done on the breast that didn’t have the cancer in it but had a reduction as it was dare I say cheaper to have it reduced and get a smaller implant than get a larger implant in the cancerous breast.. our government doesn’t consider breast reconstruction after breast cancer necessary, apparently it’s elective.. but that’s another story and passion of mine to change xox

The hospital was great, Liam had some jaundice and had treatment, the worst part of it was the little eye mask he had to wear and he hated it.. but it was necessary.. we went home on the Monday night, Shane had to work that day.. and as we packed up and got into the car with Liam loaded up we had to stop and take a breath.. oh my we both said, he’s real and he’s hear and oh they are letting us out of here to look after him.. yikes.. lol.. but it was fine…

We went back a few days later for a check up and I asked them how to check to see if I had any breast milk, we hand expressed and as some milk came out we all cried for joy… so I am able to do a mix of bottle and breastfeeding to him.. which is great as I get that contact with closeness with him but Shane also gets to bottle feed him and have that closeness as well… we get the best of both worlds.. I’m so pleased as he would have gotten the colostrom as he was on my breast quite a bit with the line feeding and he’s getting nutrients from both options.. win win I say 🙂 xox

And yes I am exhausted, tired, sleep deprived and as I wander up the hallway at all hours of the night in my routine, put my pillows up, get the bib, get my feeding pillow, go the kitchen, prepare and heat up the bottle.. all I can say is oh wow he’s here.. Some nights I manage to unpack the dishwasher, sterilise his bottles and fill them with kettle/boiled water.. some nights, I post and comment on Egg Donor Angels Facebook groups and some nights I fall asleep holding the bottle feeding him.. and just cuddling him..

I’m trying to stay on top of Egg Donor Angels but some days are just filled with Liam and stuff.. though we have been out and about quite a bit, we got to catch up with one of my gorgeous donors from my site in the city, so Liam had his first train ride, we’ve been shopping and to lunch and dinner with friends, we’ve had lots of visitors including my self adopted Dad, friends and another wonderful donor from here as well to name a few.. we’ve been on a car club run in the XY and I’ve started walking with him and Scoutie the dog.. oh and I’ve joined the local new parents group.. and yep already mentioned Egg Donor Angels lol…

So now I’m going to put up lots of photos as I know you all want to see them and I hope to do more posts and especially on our next stage of our journey, the next little one.. yayyyy we can’t wait.. as nervous as we are.. and know we will be holding our breath again for the whole pregnancy.. it’s all worth it..

And maybe I’ll write a book about this whole journey and for awareness.. I’m thinking the title along the lines of “holding our breath waiting for our miracle egg donor baby” or something similar but definitely with “holding our breath”.. as the whole pregnancy, we just couldn’t get too excited as we knew we had to get to the end and see him before we could..

Oh and the name.. well we hadn’t really decided on any, it only took us 3 weeks to finally decide lol.. I think we just couldn’t make that decicsion till we met him and till we knew he was here safe and sound.. and then we were looking at an African name that meant “long awaited” but it wasn’t correct.. and then any African names we looked at were too hard to pronounce for us Aussies.. so we both liked Liam and James so that was it.. though if it’s a boy for the next one, and I keep saying it is, I actually already have a name, not one that we had for Liam, one I have chosen after he was named.. it’s a name from a TV series from my childhood and I always loved it.. just only thought of it recently.. if it’s a girl the next one well.. I had some names picked out years ago but sadly I’ve forgotten them.. but I’m sure 3 weeks after he/she is born we’ll decide lol again..

Thanks for all your support, love and just everything, to those still on the journey let me know what we can do to help you achieve this, to those that have helped us, thank you so much, we love you all xoxox

Dianne, Shane, Liam, Scout the dog, Sooty the Cat and the chickens xoxox

Liam tonka trucks 240316 (5) to use smaller

Liam tonka trucks 240316 (2) to use smaller

Gosh it’s been toooo long since I’ve updated :( but here goes, it’s going to be a longish one :) xox

So let’s start with the good news, we are pregnant 🙂 xox yayyyyy 19 weeks heading into our 20th week… UPDATE … ok so I started this almost 10 weeks ago and now we are 30 weeks..

Gosh it was another crazy year again… after last year our IVF clinic killing our 11 embryo’s, transferring our one remaining one in Melbourne to get to 6 weeks and no heartbeat or fetal pole 🙁 and then our wonderful friend offering to be our donor but sadly she was unable to give us any mature or viable eggs, which was just heartbreaking for all of us… we knew we still wanted this dream xox

And during all of this my Mum’s health continued to decline rapidly with her dementia, lung cancer and other health issues and sadly we lost her on the 5th March 2015. We were going down to Melbourne as much as we could to see her knowing that each trip might be the last time we see her.. it was so hard to say goodbye each time. I didn’t have the heart we weren’t still pregnant from the one we lost at 6-7 weeks late 2014. The wonderful thing was we were down in Melbourne visiting her again and I feel she waited for us to say goodbye.. whilst it’s devastating and heartbreaking to lose her, she was a skeleton of her former self, it was no life for this feisty, strong dominant woman who had fought many battles and won valiantly and so her passing was peaceful and a time to know that she was at rest xox

It hasn’t been an easy time with other “family issues”, every family has that one person that causes trouble and oh yeah I mean trouble since childhood and it’s only escalated so that’s been rather stressful to deal with especially when you need to sort out your Mum’s stuff and you can’t just make that decision to not have to communicate with someone as sadly you have to, to close the door 🙁

So after more failed egg donor cycles, we started to seriously look at overseas egg donation and agencies…. if you had asked me a year or more ago would I have considered this, it would have probably been a no.. of course at that time we thought we had 11 little wonderful snow babies thanks to my gorgeous cousin whom means the world to me now and always and I only wish that we had been successful with her help 🙁 xox

I had met a few recipients through my website and Facebook page/groups that were going overseas or were considering it and it opened up my eyes to another option

So after my last post where sadly we had no success with our friends eggs I started to read more about going overseas for an Egg Donor Angel. Quite a few on my Facebook groups had been successful and when I looked into it, I realised that it wasn’t that scary or that expensive compared to doing it in Australia. Also the main difference was that you could find and choose an Egg Donor Angel quickly. This was really important to us as with all of our setbacks, time was ticking and we just wanted to make it happen.

I looked at South Africa as it was getting the most positive reviews and successes… and I looked at Greece as well…. I started looking at dates that Shane had available to travel and from that chose egg donors that were also available for those dates.. within days we had found a potential Egg Donor Angel and were corresponding with the agency and the IVF clinic as well as organising a skype link up with a clinic in Greece as well.. I believe in doing your due diligence and looking at all options, without doing your head in, lol..

Whilst we really liked the Dr and clinic in Greece, our instinct was to go to South Africa. We didn’t choose it on a holiday destination but did say it’s somewhere that we would not necessarily normally consider but more importantly we were able to approach egg donor agencies and choose our own donor and again their success rates were really good. With Greece we were told that the clinic and the Dr would choose our egg donor for us, not a control freak lol but I wanted to choose and I’m so glad we did.

After short listing a few donors, one just stood out to us, we only had one image of her as a child – donors in South Africa are anonymous and can only supply baby/childhood photos. Her photo reminded me of myself and in her full profile there were just so many things that she wrote/answered that we connected with and showed her true nature, maturity, strength, selflessness and love. She wasn’t what they call a “proven” donor but we decided to take the risk, she was in her early 20’s so her eggs should be good and that was the advice I received from several embryologists, choose someone young as hard as that is to be picky.

So we went full steam ahead, gave the clinic all the tests/information they needed, looked into flights/accommodation, paid our deposit and waited to hear that she was all ready to go. We got the go ahead about 3 weeks out and booked our flights/accommodation and started to get eggcited and scared/nervous at the same time.. of course you think of all the “what if’s” it’s a long way to go if it doesn’t work but considering her age we felt quite confident about it all.

So off we went in June 2015 to South Africa, you know I’m pretty ok with doing things outside my comfort zone but I have to say I was so proud of Shane, this was his first trip overseas ever and to somewhere that many think is a dangerous place. He took it all in his stride and trusted me and everyone else, he’s such an amazing person and I’m so glad to have him by my side. Of course we also decided just before we left to set our wedding date, August 29th and that we would have it in our garden but would organise and plan it when we got home, again were we crazy lol..

We got to Cape Town and explored our first day and the next day went to the IVF clinic; Cape Fertility to meet our Dr and discuss the progress. Dr Matabese was just gorgeous and of course we chatted heaps about egg donation :). We found out our egg donor had not responded well to the hormones initially and the gorgeous girl cried when the Dr told her it wasn’t looking great. They adjusted her meds and a few days later the ultrasound showed more promise to which our “little helper” beamed, just this made us know her heart was actually in it xox

We got my medications and had more chats with the lovely nurse Jenny and other staff about egg donation, lol, I can’t help myself 😉 and then spent the next week sightseeing and enjoying Cape Town. It’s a beautiful place and we felt safe the whole time we were there. We did stay in a safer part of the city but truly we drove around and didn’t feel scared at all.. well except for some of the drivers lol. The people are lovely and friendly and the sad part was the “inequality” and the poor. Of course I got really sick with the flu and went on antibiotics and did acupuncture to try and get me well for the transfer. But we managed to do some amazing things like a safari and overnight stay at Inverdorn which was amazing and I can’t wait to go back one day. The landscape is amazing, the food awesome and the people just delightful, I highly recommend going there to anyone. We also did a Meerkat experience, this I will never forget, we got to cuddle Sebastian and I could and would have taken him home if possible.

Egg collection was delayed by a few days in the middle of our sightseeing but we got 14 eggs and waited to see how many fertlised and then survived to the 5 day blastocyst stage for transfer. Our transfer was delayed as well due to the donor not responding as well and if you are considering doing an overseas cycle, allow a few extra days after your proposed embyro transfer for these kind of delays.. luckily we had so our transfer was the day before we were due to fly out where originally we had about 2-3 days to relax after the transfer. On the day of transfer we sadly ended up with only one good embryo and 3 other ho hum ones. We had the goodie transferred and the best one of the 3 ho hum ones transferred and prayed it would work. The gorgeous Kimenthra from Egg Donation South Africa EDSA did our transfer and I was so glad we got to meet her and chat. We also got to meet the lovely Kinny from EDSA as well… As a back up plan we decided that Shane would leave a sperm sample in the freezer as well in case we needed to go back, this would enable us to do another egg donor cycle without him/us there and I could always go over on my own to do a transfer.

I can highly recommend the whole process and the IVF clinic and the donor agency there, it was easy, seamless and the communication was fantastic in fact I would say that we knew more about our donor and her history than we find out here (for the most part), the clinics instructions and communications were clear and easy to follow and in fact again I found they guided me more than I had found here in Australia.

And we loved Cape Town and would definitely go back and recommend it… some highlights were Baked Bistro near Camps Bay, awesome food, coffee and staff.. if you are there, please don’t miss out on this place, it’s a local haunt and not on the main strip but oh my its so worth it. Also Hussar Grill again awesome food, service and at a great price.. we ended up eating here and at Baked most days as it was just too good.

We did a stopover in Singapore for 5 days and had a great time looking around and swimming and relaxing.. silly me did a pregnancy test too early on our last day there and it was negative, it broke my heart but then I realised that it was a wee bit too early.. so I waited till about 3-4 days after we got home around day 12 or so and oh yeah it was a faint positive. Of course I was ecstatic especially since we only ended up with one good embie, I was really sick with the flu and of course we had major problems with our Singapore flight going home (was delayed for almost 24 hours, we had to wait around in the airport lounge then on the plane) and of course they ran out of food as it was spoiled due to the delay and so on and so on.. we were exhausted when we finally got home..

Now we know that whilst a positive pregnancy test is great, there’s still a few hurdles.. but my HCG levels were great, they rose and continued to do so and by the time we got to 12 weeks everything was looking good so we got to officially announce it at our wedding on the 29th August..yayyy that was amazing. We had an amazing wedding and got to share it with so many we love and cherish and to share this news made it even better. We did our 12 week scan a few days after our wedding and he was looking great.. and we did our DS blood test as well and then went off to Hawaii for our honeymoon.. where we relaxed and swam and saw the sights.. we got to swim with the dolphins, drive a Ford Mustang around the island and do the Pearl Harbour tour.

All during this that one family member was still giving us grief but I have to say most of Mum’s stuff has now been sorted and sadly that door will now be closed.

So upon getting home we found out that we were having a little boy, yayyy and so we started to really get excited…. once we got to about 25 weeks we then got super excited as this was what we felt was our “safe” time.. of course things can still happen..

We have an amazing team at the University of Sydney High Risk pregnancy unit at Nepean, we love them! I’ve had no real complications, yay, just some high blood pressure but most likely due to the family member and its now good..

We have purchased or have most things we need for him now and just need to set up the nursery properly so we can be ready just in case he comes a bit early. He’s kicking and punching and rolling a lot and it’s an amazing feeling even though it’s a wee bit uncomfortable when he’s bouncing on my bladder lol.. .my belly is growing of course and I feel great, of course still get really really tired side effect of my BC treatment/chemo and now pregnancy but can’t complain…

And the great news is if all goes well, we have decided to try for a sibling.. our gorgeous donor was doing a cycle for another recipient in October last year but for whatever reason they pulled out and the clinic and agency offered the cycle to us, we were a bit concerned about the low success from the last one but they assured us they had adjusted her meds and it was looking great. So we did it and we now have one excellent embie, two really good embies and two not sure’s on ice waiting for us to hopefully go back end of this year, yayyy.

We are truly happy with one but when we thought about him and our families and us being a bit older we want him to have a sibling so they can be there for each other when sadly we aren’t. Will keep you updated on that one.

So here he is at 12 weeks…

and here he is at 18 weeks, so cute xox

Scan 121015 baby boo cropped

Here’s me around 20 weeks and Shane

And here we are Christmas Day at 28 weeks with Shane and his 96 year old Nan who is just gorgeous and of course Scout one of our fur babies xox

The last scan he got shy and wouldn’t let us take his picture, his feet, legs and arms were all in front of his face..

But I have a scan this Thursday and hopefully will get some good photos that I will post on here. And of course there will be more once he is born lol.

Thanks again for reading, I will try and post more often, it was just such a crazy year with so much going on and I’ve only told some of it.

If you are looking for your Egg Donor Angel but want to chat about it or chat about overseas egg donors, I’m more than happy to chat, just email me diannej@eggdonorangels.com.au

and I have quite a few Facebook groups for support including one for overseas egg donation cycles, one for donors only, one for recipients, one for USA, one for UK and one for parents of donor conceived children… they are all listed on my website.

Here’s to a fabulous 2016 and I hope that your dreams will come true for you too and please let me know if I can help you make them come true xox

Lots of love from me (Dianne), Shane, Bubs and all our furry kids xoxox