Our Journey - Egg Donor Angels

To tell or not to tell xox

This is a really emotional topic for many people and in my Facebook support groups, it often brings about a lot of discussion and sadly it doesn’t always end well with many members saying things they may not mean and may regret 🙁

My boys know their story, as a passionate advocate for egg donation and my cause Egg Donor Angels, I tell and share their story all the time and they know I spend many hours helping others with their journey xox

My belief has always been to tell, agree or disagree. I feel it’s in the best interests of the child going forwards. This is the family we worked so hard to get I think they deserve to know our “journey” to get them and they need to know how much they were wanted!

So I’ve always told the boys our story, our four trips to Cape Town to have them.. I prefer to sit down with them and tell them about it, show photos of our trips, show the photos of their donors and weave it into the fabric of their lives… to me this helps them to understand their story… I did read them the simple rhyming books when they were little but now they are 4 and 6 I find it’s better to talk about our journey to have them and show them their story.

The hardest part about donor conception is the “letting go of our own fertility and grieving” and sometimes I feel that many have not done this when not wanting to “tell their story”

Liam, the 6yo already asks interesting questions about babies and life, last night it was “did you choose if you were having a boy or a girl?” What I love is spending the time answering these questions and as crazy as this sounds telling them how it works as best I can before their eyes glaze over! So I explained how the sperm swims to the egg and one sperm will penetrate the egg and that sperm determines if the baby is a boy or a girl… I did a quiet sigh of relief when he didn’t ask how the sperm got to the egg.. of course I could explain the IVF version rather than the more intimate version 🙂

Everyone knows my boys are donor conceived and whilst I share our story with anyone that will listen, I know they will know that their story is there to help others know there is hope and to navigate infertility xox

I know for me and for many of us there have been or will be some comments made where we will feel judged, for example being called the grandparent or being told your too old and won’t live to see your children get older… I always smile, correct t them that I’m the mother and then I even go on to tell our story, to me it’s always about awareness… and educating people xox

I know our children will say things when they are angry or don’t get their own way that will hurt us right to the core of our heart and soul.. I fear they will say things like “you’re not my mother/father/parent”, “you couldn’t have your own children” or that the donor is their parent… deep breaths my friends, this is where we need to be strong again and resilient…. you’ve been strong before you can do this! I would sit them down when they are open to listening and say how much that hurt you and that you are their mother/parent/father and explain why you are, that it’s not just about “genetics” that its about love and creating a family that comes in all shapes and sizes. Repeat your story, maybe it’s time to tell more detail about the heartbreak you’ve endured to have them, miscarriages, loss etc. as hard as that is xox If needed I strongly suggest counselling, but find someone who understands IVF and donor conception. (I do plan to put together a list of IVF counsellors together soon)

Telling your child/children, family and friends about your IVF and donor conception journey is important for your child’s/children’s ongoing trust and knowledge about who they are and where they came from… Agree or disagree, sadly it’s not about our emotions and our grief xox

Dianne – founder of Egg Donor Angels

April 16, 2022

Tweets by eggdonorangels

Egg Donor Angels – this is my baby for over 12 years…

Just a quick post, I started Egg Donor Angels many years ago to help others here in Australia have their family through egg donation.. At the time it cost me thousands of dollars to create and start the website along with registering the name etc. Then every year it’s cost me thousands of dollars to run it not to mention my time spent on it for free. Every year, people have told me to charge for people to advertise and I’ve resisted but this year I can’t afford to keep the site going with no/very little income. I’m sorry I am now charging $30 for 3 months for recipients ads and $1 for 3 months for Donors ads so I can at the very least have enough to pay for the website’s running costs. If people are not prepared to pay for this, sadly I will close the website and unfortunately they will be left with very few options in Australia to advertise. It makes me sad that I need to charge for this but with the costs of hosting and hacker prevention, I just can’t keep paying for it all especially when I don’t work and with my auto immune disease (Scleroderma) I am unable to go back into employment.. but it also makes me sad that most people didn’t consider donating to the website over the years to pay for its running and potentially won’t pay a small fee (in the scheme of things) for the running of the website. Not only do you get to advertise on a well promoted website in Australia but you get the information on it and many get hours of my time on the phone, email and private messaging. I hope you will realise that this charge/cost only covers my outgoing costs and again sadly if no on supports this the website will be shut down. Thanks for reading, Dianne and Shane xox

Merry Christmas from all of us xox

So it’s been a crazy year with me being so sick last year with the pregnancy (high blood pressure and pre-eclampsia), then having Owen 6 weeks preemie, then weeks in the NICU with him coming home in January but with regular visits to the NICU till he gained enough weight… then lots of sickness for all of us and then I was diagnosed with a rare auto immune disease called Scleroderma… and just being busy with two young children 🙂

It’s wonderful that we can celebrate this Christmas as a family and at home. I still pinch myself that we have our gorgeous boys, what a journey we’ve been through but we made it. Our boys are so sweet, most of the time hehehe. Liam does the sweetest things like tucking Daddy in at night when he’s on a super early shift and has gone to sleep before the boys do but then he will push Owen away from trying to play with his toys… and then Liam will just come and give me the biggest hug whilst I’m doing something awwwwww. Owen is crawling with a mission lol… He is always on the move and looking for mischief and has just started this week to give hugs and blow kisses as well as raspberries… won’t be long and he’ll be walking. We celebrated Owen’s 1st Birthday on the 19th, it was a fabulous day though we can’t believe our tiny little baby has grown so much. We love our boys to the moon and back and to the stars, they are going to be the best of friends and yes with some fights..

I thought we’d have more time once Owen was born to do things and see people but with sickness, hospital visits, Shane’s roster/shifts and just life we just haven’t been able to do as much or catch up, sorry xox

… and I know I haven’t had as much time for Egg Donor Angels as I normally have or would like, sorry xox.

Hopefully this coming year will be less crazy hehehe xox

For those of you that have lost loved ones (family, friends and pets) this year or prior years but still grieving, hugs and love from us, Christmas is always hard as we miss them and its a time you would especially share with them xox

My Mum’s last visit to Sydney and before she got really sick 🙁

I miss my Mum, this year will be the 3rd Christmas without her and sadly my Dad passed away when I was a teenager…

Its funny how things remind you of what you were going through at that time, I remember that dress, we were still trying IVF with my eggs but we also at that time had a friends daughter offer to be our egg donor, health issues sadly prevented her from helping us which whilst we were disappointed we totally understood xox.

To those going through IVF whether with your own eggs or with an egg donor, hugs and love to you xox This emotional roller coaster ride is hard and often with many set backs and heartbreak along the way. We hope you get what you dreaming of xox

And remember I’m here to chat to, sometimes I just don’t get to my emails but if you need me I’m just a phone call away xox

We have lots of Facebook support groups with wonderful and amazing members to help you along the way xox

Egg donor angels recipients only

Egg donor angels international donor options

Egg donor angels Australia

Egg donor angels NZ

Egg donor angels US

Egg donor angels UK

Egg donor angels Canada

Egg donor angels Parents of donor conceived children

Egg donor angels Parents of South African donor conceived children

Egg donor angels parents of OE and ED children

Egg donor angels donors only support group

Egg Donor angels single women seeking egg, sperm and embyro donation

and the Facebook page “egg donor angels”

These groups are very supportive and a huge thank you to my amazing friends that help me admin the groups; Katherine, Natalie, Lauren and Christine, love you xox I couldn’t have kept Angels going the past 2 years without your help, thank you so much xox

To all our friends and family, we send our love this Christmas, thanks for your love and support and we hope you have an amazing day with the people you love xox

And we look forward to seeing you very soon xox

Here’s our Christmas photo shoot with the gorgeous and talented Elvia.

love Dianne, Shane, Liam and Owen xox

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what a year it’s been xox

It’s been a crazy year for us, with having Owen preemie on the 19th December last year ….. three or so weeks in the NICU with 2 or 3 visits a day. Sometimes we’d drive down and home for each one, sometimes we’d stay around Penrith and go back…

When we got to take him home, it was wonderful but full on xox Owen struggled with his feeds and settling down and had silent reflux… so most feeds backed into each other with Mummy and sometimes Daddy trying to settle him between them.. so not much sleep or down time for Mummy along with Liam being an active 2-year-old as well…

Then we’ve just been constantly sick 🙁 especially me, flu’s, colds, bronchitis… and then I got diagnosed with an auto immune disease which explains some of the symptoms I’ve had for many years and why I’ve always had so much sickness.

To be honest it’s been tough… I don’t mean or want to complain but this is more about explaining why we’ve been so reclusive lol, why I’ve been slow to respond to emails and messages, why I haven’t been able to post as much on my Facebook groups or blog but I also want to share so others can know they are not alone..

With the constant sickness, I’ve just struggled and as most will attest to having a baby with a toddler is demanding and exhausting. I don’t know how I’ve done it to be honest, it seems a blur now hehehe.. I’m not sure how I’ve gotten up during the night and looked after Owen whilst so sick and tired and then often Liam would need me as well then the daytime, running a house, our investments, renovations to our house, Egg Donor Angels, setting up a SMSF along with the day-to-day stuff….

And every time I started to feel a wee bit better, I’d get knocked down again with another illness and with my auto immune disease I just seem to take so much longer to get better and then of course the boys would get it too..

And then a few weeks ago Liam got attacked by a local cat and it sliced his eyelid open… so off to our gp we went and then off to Westmead Children’s hospital that evening and sat among the poor sick children only for Liam to get the gastro days later and then Shane, Owen and finally me…

The good news is we’re on the mend yayyyy, I’ve started my medications for the auto immune disease and whilst life is still crazy busy for me/us, I’m hoping I will have a wee bit more time to spare lol…

Many I know have had a baby with a toddler and we all say “oh my” it’s exhausting and you don’t get much time…

…but what I want to let everyone know is that in regard to Egg Donor Angels, I am here for you and if you need to talk to me, email me, PM me or just call me on my mobile…. I may not answer if things are crazy with the boys but keep trying or txt me so I know to call you back when I can… xox

and any friends/family reading this we hope to have more time to catch up now… we’ve missed this xox

Owen came home and he’s put on weight…

On Sunday the 7th of January, a very hot day in Penrith, the Dr’s approved us to bring Owen home, yayyyyy

They loved the written note on Owen’s crib asking if he could, thanks to one of the fabulous NICU nurses for writing it xox

We were so happy to take him home but he’s still so tiny and hardly fits in his capsule, we’ve got the straps on the smallest setting! Of course nervous as well.

It was nice not to be going to the hospital several times a day but then came the 3 hourly feeds 🙂 all worth it though xox

We had to go back a few times every couple of days to get him weighed and checked and each time he put on weight, though the first weigh in only a little but he’s now 2.10kg or probably more as that was at the last weigh in.

Liam is great with him, really gentle most of the time and gives him kisses, too cute! Though he gets boisterous and not so gentle with Owen or with us.. but he’s very good and at night when we put him to bed he blows Owen a kiss goodnight in his bassinet… he melts my heart xox

We’ve not done much with him home, I’m still sore and exhausted and my blood pressure is still playing up a bit, more to do with now not being pregnant and getting the medications right and in line with my bp coming down and righting itself.. some huge headaches with this ride but hopefully the high bp was pregnancy related and will right itself soon.

Owen is growing and we did introduce him to Shane’s Nan the other day, she’s 98 and doing well considering and she got to cuddle him lots.

The great team that helped us to get our two boys xox

(photo of Dr Matabese from Cape Fertility to come :))

Owen and Dr Merchant (our local GP, he’s amazing)

Sarah and me (Sarah was our reg Ob for Liam and delivered him for us and now works for Dr Pardey, she’s gorgeous xox)

and here’s the gorgeous Maree, she was our reg Ob with Liam’s pregnancy for the most part and she with Dr Pardey delivered Owen, and is also amazing xox

Cheryl at Balance Medical, did all my blood tests and has been along for the ride xox

The lovely Simone and Cheryl at Balance xox

Well I think that’s our family complete for us, though we might consider adoption in a few years or maybe fostering… I don’t think i can put any of us or our team through another pregnancy, though I did give Dr Pardey, Maree and Sarah a scare by saying I wanted to be a surrogate, and yes I’d love to do this but again I can’t put my family through another complicated pregnancy. Whilst another pregnancy might be much easier like it was with Liam there’s no guarantee so that’s it for us xox

We are considering on-donating our embryo’s in Cape Town at some point, we just need to get through the next year or so and we’ll start this process xox

So as soon as I finish breast feeding Owen, I’ll be back to see the lovely Prof Kefford to do a check up and probably start Tamoxifen for a few years to keep that big C away…

Gosh I can’t believe we’ve done it, phew and yayyyyy it’s a bit surreal still and after so many years and so much heartache it does seem like a dream.

Now to focus on our boys and helping others achieve this…. thanks again for everyone’s support and help along the way and we hope we can continue to help others to achieve their dream.

Lots of love Dianne, Shane, Liam and Owen xoxox

Happy New Year, welcome 2018 and blissful happiness xox

Gosh, what an crazy and amazing year 2017 was… we can’t believe that we’ve welcomed in the New Year with our precious boy Owen.

To go to sleep last night and wake up in a New Year without it being tinged with sadness as our dreams have come true is surreal. Most years we’ve welcomed the year in with hope and sadness except for the year that we had Liam and this year with Owen.

There’s always some sadness with loved ones not here, for me my Mum and Scout xox I wish my Mum could see our little family but I know wherever she is, she’ll be so happy for us. I know most of you grieve for someone at Christmas and New Year, huge hugs and love to you.. it’s a time for spending time with loved ones and when some are missing it’s hard xox

We have so much to be grateful for but as you all know we’ve spent many years wanting a family and then a sibling for Liam. We’ve had a lot of speed humps in our life together, Shane trying to find his daughter, my lying, cheating ex husband including three years of property settlement with a huge emotional and financial toll all because he continued to lie about our financial situation and his stupid solicitor failed to read the facts I kept sending them and so much more, infertility diagnosis/early menopause and years of IVF, breast cancer diagnosis with massive treatment and huge complications, our search for our egg donor angels, miscarriages, the loss of our 11 embryo’s, Mum’s breast and lung cancer and dementia and sadly her decline and passing… and much much more…

We feel complete and whilst I’d love to have another baby and to be a surrogate for someone else, we just can’t put my body through another pregnancy and I can’t put my three boys through it.. and I need to be here for them too xox

We are blessed and grateful for what we have xox

We couldn’t have done this without our friends and family and their love and support, especially through the tough times, you’ve been amazing and we love and thank you xoxox

Sorry that we’ve not been in touch as much and spent as much time recently but we’ll make up for it this year xox

When I started Egg Donor Angels in 2008 I had a dream to help others along this journey as we’d just started it and I’d realised were few resources available but were so needed. Many years later Egg Donor Angels has grown so much with many Facebook support groups with people from all over the world and hundreds of babies born from local and overseas donations. My payment and joy is knowing that I’ve provided a support network for those on the journey and when I get an email, message, text message, phone call saying that they have achieved their dream, it’s all worth it xox

All the people in my groups also make them the amazing space that they are, they provide wonderful support and friendship to others along the journey and to my fabulous admins Katherine, Natalie, Lauren and Christine, thank you, I love you and couldn’t have gotten through this pregnancy without your love, help and support xox

I wish I could wave that magic wand and help everyone to achieve their dream xox

We hope that 2018 will be the year for many of you and your family in achieving your dreams and if there’s anything we can do to help, please let us know.

An update on Owen;, our little tiger has moved to bay 4, the last bay before being able to go home, yayyy. He’s gaining weight and feeding well. He just needs to take a bottle and/or breast feed at every feed and consistently gain weight to go home. We’re now doing 3 trips a day to the Penrith/Nepean NICU, 7am, 1pm and 7pm so we’re a bit off the grid till he comes home, hopefully soon 🙂 xox

So Happy New Year to all our family and friends, may 2018 be a wonderful year for you and your loved ones, lots of love Dianne, Shane, Liam and Owen xoxox

Our Christmas Present arrived :) xox Merry Christmas everyone xox

Wow, what a week it’s been, my last post on Monday the 18th where it was a day by day wait to see what would happen.

On the Tuesday they were doing the ECG on the baby and they were concerned that he wasn’t moving enough and with my high blood pressure and pre-eclampsia, so they decided to move me to the public hospital that afternoon in preparation for delivering him sooner than later.

They found me a bed in the antenatal ward and we were told they were considering delivering him that night or the next day as they were worried about him and the lack of movement. They then decided to let him “cook” for a few more days so I sent Shane home and I started to settle in to my new bed whilst they monitored bubs again…. but as they did his heart rate dropped significantly twice for short periods and then for a long period which resulted in me ringing Shane and telling him he had an hour to get back to the hospital as we were doing an emergency C section, tonight our little boy was going to be delivered…

Within an hour I was prepped and we were ready to go.. the team were amazing getting me ready and making it all happen and I gave Dr Pardey a scare mentioning that I had been considering being a surrogate… he said he and my hypertension specialist Dr Fischer would have a heart attack if I did… I had very seriously considered this before this pregnancy but with the complications we’ve had I couldn’t put myself, my family and the recipients through the stress and the risk of any issues so sadly this isn’t an option for me to help now 🙁

The team at Nepean are amazing and as I’ve mentioned before obstetricians; Dr Maree Wallwark and Dr Sarah Rixton were fabulous with our pregnancy with Liam as was our awesome Midwife Tracey xox Whilst they were prepping me Dr Pardey rang Maree to tell her they were doing our emergency C section (Sarah was away so unable to attend this one but she delivered Liam xox) and as they were doing my injection into my back Maree appeared in front of me to be part of this bubs delivery… I cried and hugged her quickly before the injection took hold.. 🙂 and cry now that she made it to this bubs arrival xox

It all just happened so quickly then, next thing we know he’s out, a quick look for us and then he was whisked off to be checked and then Daddy and bubs went off to NICU whilst I spent hours in recovery trying to get my blood pressure under control.

So on Tuesday 19th December at 9.33pm our little boy arrived, a wee bit early but healthy and safe xox

In the NICU you can visit the baby anytime you want but you can only hold and cuddle the baby at what they call their care times, which are every 6 hours. Our times were 10am, 4pm, 10pm and 4am, so whilst I was still in hospital I did all 4 times to spend as much time with him as I could. He started in the humidicrib and on Saturday was moved to a cot and has moved a bay along, so he’s doing well and he’s gaining weight. We’re not sure when he’ll be home, the criteria for a baby to go home is to be consistently gaining weight and to be able to feed.

I was discharged on Friday from the hospital and whilst so happy to be going home and to be at home with Shane and Liam it was very sad for all three of us to drive out of the hospital without bubs and to leave him behind. But he’s in good hands and we’re visiting him every day doing the 10am and the 4pm visits. We’d do more but I can’t drive so it’s a lot on Shane to drive to Penrith and back twice a day with only a few hours break between and we have to consider Liam xox

I’m sorry I haven’t posted a full update yet, our focus has been on bubs, Liam and my slow and painful recovery but when I woke up in pain the wee hours this morning I wanted to get up and update you all and to wish you all a very Merry Christmas xox

We want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas xox, cherish and enjoy the day with family and friends. The day is about these moments in life and I know for many the day is tinged with sadness; loved ones no longer with us, dreams not yet fulfilled and losses xox

Thanks to everyone for your support this year xox, it’s been a crazy 12 plus months for us and our focus lately has been on bubs health and my health. We’re sorry we haven’t seen many friends and family during this time and have been out of touch a bit but we are here for you and we look forward to making up for it in 2018 xox

May 2018 be everything you dream of and whilst many of us miss loved ones, we can cherish the memories and hope that new memories can help with the grief and loss xox And if there’s anything we can do to help you achieve your dreams, let us know.

Love from Dianne, Shane, Liam and Owen xox

My first bath

A Christmas baby :)

so we’re almost 34 weeks but looks like our little tiger is going to be a Christmas baby 🙂

It’s been a struggle keeping my high blood pressure under control and I’ve just been at regular Dr’s appointments, scans and totally exhausted. Last week whilst really sick with the flu/virus my gp expressed his concerns, so off to our Ob; Dr Pardey I went the next day with a hospital bag packed and here I still am waiting to see how long we can let our little one “cook” before he pops out into our world 🙂 I have pre-eclampsia so it’s just a waiting and balancing game to let tiger grow a bit more but keep him and me healthy.

I’m in hospital till he arrives and probably for some time afterwards so I can heal and they can monitor my blood pressure and keep it stable as well. We think it’s going to be this week but…. its day by day…

He’ll probably have to spend some time in care as he’s a wee bit early so his first Christmas will probably be in a hospital but as long as he’s safe and healthy that’s the main thing.

We’ll update everyone with any news as soon as we can, thanks for your support xox

So we are 24 plus weeks and are still super nervous xox

Hey everyone xoxox

wow what a roller coaster ride this has been… transfer was done, we got a positive home pregnancy test and then a positive blood HCG test result but as many of you would know having been through this, this is on the start of the many milestones that you have to pass until that little baby is in your arms xox

Our HCG levels continued to rise which was great but on the June Monday long weekend public holiday and I started to bleed… at first it was a bit then within a few hours I was bleeding with large clots and almost non stop, it was just so awful and scary (sorry for the too much information) absolutely terrified and thinking we were losing the baby I said to Shane we need to go to the hospital…

We went to Katoomba hospital as we felt on a public holiday it would be quieter than Nepean… and it was… thank goodness they put us in a room where I continued to bleed and every time I went to the toilet I was petrified our little one was lost to us (again sorry for the TMI 🙂 xox)

We were beyond terrified, the bleeding and clots continued and we were sure this was it, we’d miscarried.. as were the hospital team. The on call Ob assessed me and offered us to do a currette but Shane and I wanted to make sure we had lost the baby before we took any action. I asked if they could do an ultrasound at almost 6 weeks, surely they would know if the little one was still there but they don’t have a full time/permanent ultrasound technician or one on call… the Ob suggested we do bloods and compare with the past weeks HCG levels and we totally agreed… so we waited whilst these came back and they admitted me as a patient as they were concerned about my blood loss and thought they would be doing surgery. I was on nil by mouth in preparation for surgery and when the bloods came back with a rise in HCG levels, we had no definitive answer, if only we could do an ultrasound! They put me in maternity in a room and kept me nil by mouth as they were still concerned about my blood loss and I spent a stressful night there with very little sleep researching online the option of going back to Cape Town as we have good quality embryo’s in the freezer there…

They suggested to do bloods the next morning and see if there was another rise if they didn’t have to do emergency surgery and we would go from there… I stopped bleeding that night but I felt totally awful, stressed, sick and exhausted..

Finally mid morning they took blood and hours later we got the results back.. oh my goodness they had risen again.. not hugely but enough to say the pregnancy was still viable.. though again if only we could do an ultrasound 🙂

They said i’d lost a lot of blood and needed to be on strict rest as i’d potentially had a subchorionic hematoma and they wanted me to stay another night as they feared if I went home I wouldn’t rest and they wanted to monitor me still. And knowing me whilst the pregnancy was so precious, I’m not good at sitting still and not doing anything hehehe.

So another sleepless night there waiting for the ultrasound the next morning.. yes they do them Monday’s, Wednesdays and Fridays but not on public holidays and no one on call.. argghhhhhh it was awful and all we wanted was an answer.

Finally they wheeled me down to the ultrasound and the whole room was filled with a nervous energy… he tried to do an external scan but couldn’t see anything, that stressed me more, as often they can see something at that stage externally.. so he did an internal, we all held our breaths and with great surprise and relief he announced I’ve got a heartbeat… I had to ask him to repeat it.. I think I took my first real breath for days… I think everyone in the room took a breath and then had tears, I knew that this was great but it was just one hurdle to overcome of many…

The heartbeat was good and he confirmed there was a subchorionic hematoma … I can’t believe our little one held on through all of that… we went back to the room and the Ob was so happy he came and saw us straight away but with very strict instructions.. ‘you must rest, no heavy lifting, no lifting at all for weeks, take it easy’ etc. I didn’t care, this baby is too precious for us and I’d do anything to ensure bubs was safe…

So home we went happy but still super nervous as we could still lose the baby… now unusually for me I pretty much obeyed the Ob and Shane.. but I knew I had to, I was at too much risk of losing the baby not to. Any woman/couple who have had a bleed in the pregnancy will know and understand the fear of seeing any blood, it almost consumes you and you stop breathing at those moments when you expect to see blood and breath again when there’s none…

I rested and I’ve been super quiet as I’ve had no choice… of course this pregnancy has been riddled with humps, Liam’s pregnancy was really quite easy when we expected it not to be and this one we thought would be ok, lol, never assume I say… hehehe

I’ve had amazing support, with Egg Donor Angels just growing and growing, I asked some lovely and awesome women to admin the groups with one that had already been helping me for years and they have been fabulous and I can’t thank them enough, Katherine, Natalie, Lauren, Kasey and Christine, love you girls xox This has helped me to somewhat stay on top of the many emails, phone calls, advertisements, private messages and Facebook page updates, thank goodness.

I had terrible “all day sickness” again with this pregnancy and awful hives from the medications, thankfully this stopped by about week 14ish.. but thanks to my breast cancer chemo my reflux becomes horrendous during pregnancy, so that’s been fun but my amazing GP Dr Merchant has helped with some safe medication for it, not a cure but a huge help.

We were going through the high risk pregnancy unit at Nepean originally but upon advice from my GP we moved to Dr Pardy and we are super excited that his team expands next year with my two favorite obstetricians just in time for this bubs arrival, wooohoooooo love these two xoxox pity our previous awesome and gorgeous midwife can’t be there as well, but you never know, I know she’ll be visiting us though xoxox

I had a “discharge” about 6 weeks ago where I was told to present at Nepean emergency where Liam and I spent the day waiting and nervous… what they did diagnose was that I had really high blood pressure and when I went to see the Ob for the next few visits this was highlighted and eventually I was put on medication to try and bring it down. Our fabulous GP has been also monitoring this closely as well thank goodness and after increasing my medication, it’s coming down but again I’m on strict rest argghhhhh … after moving GP’s due to my previous GP’s lack of duty of care in diagnosing my breast cancer earlier, we found our awesome GP :).

The lovely blood pressure medication makes me feel exhausted and of course being pregnant and running after a very active 19 month old along with the day to day life and Egg Donor Angels and other projects, I’m not surprised lol.. not whinging we wanted this so much but I have to say it’s been rather tough and there are days that I’m not sure how I got through them 🙂

We’ve also had some concerns with bubs, he’s (yes that’s right it’s a boy :)) a bit small for his age/gestation, he’s possibly got a hole in his heart, possibly got a genetic issue (low risk) and my amniotic fluid is low… so we’ve had quite a few scans and need to do more to monitor all of this and more Dr’s and specialists appointments… we’ll be glad when he’s here safe and sound xox

So that’s where we’re at, I started writing this post around the 12 week mark and I’ve gone back to it a few times only to not finish it, today I was determined to finish it as I know many of you are wondering how it’s all going and why I’ve been so quiet xox

I’m so sorry if I’ve missed Birthday’s, emails, messages, calls etc. I’m so sorry but I’ve truly been taking it easy so we don’t lose this baby and with all the issues.. and the usual exhaustion now exacerbated by the pregnancy, I have been a bit quiet, I hope you’ll forgive me and understand and once bubs is here and we’ve settled in things will return to a more “normal” as best it can with two little ones lol.

Thanks everyone for your love and support and even though we have all this going on, we still want to hear from you and see you, I just might not be as proactive as I normally am at the moment xoxox

And here he is a few weeks ago xoxox

Transfer done, now the 2ww xox

It’s our last full day in Cape Town and whilst we are looking forward to going home there is a tinge of sadness to leave this beautiful city and the friends we have made along our journey xox

Our egg donor gave us some wonderful eggs and we ended up with 2 fabulous quality embryo’s to transfer and 6 in the freezer 🙂

Transfer was Monday and all went wonderfully and we are now in the 2ww nervously… each step is so very hard, its the decision to use an egg donor or for us to do another cycle after our last miscarriage and negative, it’s the process of seeing if your egg donor is suitable then the cycle begins and are they responding and well and will you get good quality embryo’s that give you the best possible chance xox

Its the egg collection and how many fertilise, then how are they going at each stage and how many embryo’s you have and what quality they are…

Then of course once you’ve done the transfer it’s the waiting, listening to your body and each twinge and symptom brings about “could we be pregnant?”… the hormones play with your body and your mind as does the emotions of the whole journey… your hopeful and you want this so badly but you also know there’s always that risk/chance its not going to be successful….it’s a numbers game… you do everything you can to ensure the best possible outcome, acupuncture, Chinese herbs, endo scratch, hysteroscopy, vitamins, supplements and so the list goes on..

I know many of you reading this will relate either doing your own IVF with your own eggs and doing IVF using an egg donor… it’s a roller coaster of emotions and whilst you try to “not stress” and “not think about it too much” and “relax” you know your mind is there in that place xox

I will do a future post about Cape Town, what to see and do as it is a beautiful city and the people are lovely xox

We have done some further sightseeing, we did Kirstenbosch gardens, Moyo restaurant for Mother’s Day, Simons Town, Bree Street and the famous Mount Nelson Hotel High Tea. Every day we have done a lovely walk along the bay and have had a great time with Liam playing in the playgrounds. We found a great children’s playground along the waterfront that’s fenced and gated with a track for him to ride his tricycle around and a swing, slide and climbing stuff.. he’s loved playing and riding his trike and it’s been wonderful having this family time… Liam’s made many friends, he just loves to people watch and he’s so friendly smiling and chatting to the locals…

We got to catch up with some friends we’ve made here previously and that was lovely, though not enough time and we hope that when we bring Liam back when he’s older we will have more time to spend with them.

I’m nervous to write anymore about our chances of success or if I think we are successful, I plan to do a home pregnancy test probably around day 8 or 9 just before bloods and even just writing that makes my heart skip a beat…

To those that are thinking of going overseas, don’t be afraid of doing this, so many are going and are successful, it’s not as scary as you think, most clinics are as good as Australia/the USA, are reasonably priced and the success rates are very good… and I’m happy to chat to you about it …

I’ve been wearing my Mum’s heart locket here with a photo of her and Dad in it so she’s with us and my lucky elephant from a good friend… and of course all the hope and good wishes from our friends xoxox

Fingers and toes crossed we are pregnant with a sibling for Liam… chat soon, love from us xoxox